September 25, 2009
12:51am
I'm very happy. Today was a really great day. I ran into Charlotte in town (after my post office run to mail a letter to my dad and a bday card to my nephew, Christian!) at WH Smiths- which is a store hard to describe because it seems like a fancy office supply but they carry so many other things too- as we were both looking for folders/ organizers for our classes and paperwork. We settled on the same pink accordian file (but a really sturdy, nice one) that we can slip our journals and individual notebooks into, and we got a pad of writing paper as well. I also bought a chocolate bar Charlotte reccommended to me, and I've decided that once a week, I will taste a new kind of English chocolate. It is FAR superior to American chocolate. Hersheys is inedible. Period.
I read some of Uncle Vanya because, already, I'm swamped with assignments for school:
- memorize a sonnet (116, of course)
- memorize Shakespeare monologue
- read Uncle Vanya (by Friday)
- personal private moment with objective and 3 activities (which is due Thursday- I volunteered to go first. I'm out of my mind)
- book called "Arguements for the Theatre" by Harold Barker, to be read within 2 weeks.
EEK!!!!!!!!!
I am enjoying Uncle Vanya immensely, yet I worry about the women constantly bursting into tears- with not much of a "wind up" into that emotional state. I wonder how succesful I would be at playing one of these women at this time in my life and journey vs how well I will hopefully be playing them towards the end of my year here.
This afternoon I had my "assessment" with Terrie and Martin. It was wonderful! I was a little nervous, but everyone kept coming out and saying they were so supportive and wonderful... And it's true! They didnt tell me anything about what they think I should work on this year or how I fell short in any way during our workshops this week. Instead, they were warm and welcoming and genuinely interested in how I'm doing, so far away from home and in this new program. They laughed at my confession that the grocery store (bagging your own, paying for these bags) causes me much stress. They asked me what credits I have on my resume, and Martin was extremely impressed with Millie. He mentioned how he realizes Broadway is much more "fierce" and competive than even the West End. (a side note about Millie. The more I think about that experience, the more I LONG to have another like it- 8 shows/wk. for a year at a time! It was a v. v. special experience and privilege to be in that show- at such a profesional level and with such an important role- and I regret not treasuring it or valuing it more than I did at the time. I would value it so so so much more now. I will be ready and aware next opportunity I get). Terrie told me my sheet (they had us fill out questionaires about being in the MA program, our primary goals and what we precieve as our strengths and weaknesses) had very honest answers on it- with a lot of thought put into them- and how much they appreciate my honesty. She also told me she is confident that this program- if I follow it whole-heartedly for the year- is going to provide the means for me to accomplish those goals. She really believes it works. And I really believe her.
She urged me to talk to her ANYtime I feel homesick or like the cultural difference is so huge it's overwhelming me or inhibiting my work. She told me she understands I'm far from "home" and wants me to come to her with anything I need at any time.
It was a very lovely meeting. I got a real sense of genuine love and caring for their students from both Terrie and Martin. I think I gained some respect in my answers to their questions. I felt proud of myself for the small victory of telling the truth on my form- and for Terrie's recognition of it. A truth about my fears and weaknesses and strengths...things which are sometimes concealed to impress those I work with or who have prof. relationships with me. Our talk ultimately made me feel more ready than ever to begin diving into my "transformation" and journey.
My friend Kelly, another MA Acting major, met me after my assessment and we came back "to mine" (as the English say, "to mine" or "to yours") and we had some chocolate and champagne and music while we got ready for our Friends of GSA event. It was really great spending time with Kelly one on one. I like her a lot, and I learned a lot more about her too. Charlotte and Tegan ended up joining us, and the 4 of us soon left for dinner at Wagamama before heading to the Guild Hall. A word about Wagamama. Wagamama is an English chain which serves fairly affordable food (huge portions and relatively inexpensive... also free green tea!) and it's delicious! It's actually one of the places my agent Harry reccommended to me for my year here, and tonight was my first time having it. I loved it. Sadly, I will NOT Be eating here (or anywhere else) frequently, as I need to save every penny I can to survive this year. I've even started picking up pennys on the street!
The friends of GSA event was nice. We had unlimited free wine- and the red was very good. There was food (shoot! we should have just eate THERE!) and tons of patrons of GSA who were lovely people with generous, helpful spirits. The man in charge, who I intend on keeping in touch with, is an actor and director as well. He had lunch with people at The Really Useful Group (Andrew L. Webber's company) today, and he mentioned how the next project for reality tv/ casting here in England is The Wizard of OZ- a search for Dorothy. MY HEART MAY HAVE ACTUALLY STOPPED BEATING. They are also searching for Toto. To play Dorothy in the West End production would be one of the more fullfilling and deeply satisfying, special moments of my life. I LOVE that role! I LOVE that show! I love Toto! And I'm firly certain I could book this part. I must get in touch with Jan at the Really Useful group, ASAP and find out more details. (I know what you are all thinking, btw. You don't want me staying here any longer than this year, right? Well no need to panic right away- it's quite a long shot from many angles, and I will not be lost to England forever. Afterall- "There's no place like home" *wink/ grin*
At the Friends of GSA event, I was also blessed enough to meet a wonderful wonderful man (who will be my teacher in 2 diff. classes), Ian Ricketts. Ian Ricketts, I've known about since before I even auditioned for GSA- as Michael Klesic (former GSA MA) sang his praises to me when I first heard of the school. Ian is old. He resembles Yoda is every way. He is also apparently life- changing. And he is one of the warmest, most wise and giving people I've ever met. He is FULL of JOY, and he gives 100% of his joy and wisdom and love of life to every person he meets and speaks with. I told him what an honor it was to meet him and how I can't wait to take his classes (and his nature walk- which will have to wait for another blog in itself!), and he told me it was an honor for him to meet me!!! He is one of those people who truly make the world a much better place and who contribute to it in large ways. I am feeling lucky to be one of his students and a student blessed enough to have crossed paths with him in this world. We spoke a bit, and he touched my arm the whole time. He told me Michael is "a highly intelligent young man and truly humble" and asked that I send him his "sincerest, well wishes and warm hello". I will pass that along. :)
After the GSA friends event, I went out with my classmates to a place refered to as "Spoons" but thats short for the real name of the place- which I can't remember right now. It's a restaurant by day and a bar/ club by night. It's like any other American club I've ever been to- loud, hot, disco ball, jam packed with people... it's not a scene I enjoy. However, I did enjoy my time tonight- and I even danced some. My classmates are such lovely people to spend time with, and I'm glad I made the decision to stay out with them for several hours- despite being tired and having sore feet and not having money to drink anything more than water. I think we bonded more tonight, and it made me happy to get to know people on a different level. It was socially important.
Several people paid me high compliments tonight- mostly about how "fit" they think I am (fit = hot). These comments all made me feel very very good, of course, but I must be honest... I really truly found everyone beautiful tonight. It was great seeing people outside of their "blacks" and in cute dresses, heels, suits and ties. The men looked handsome. The girls looked beautiful. I chose to wear a strapless black dress with white accent on top and a buckly around the rib cage, along with my red Steve Madden heels. (the English dont know Steve Madden OR BCBG- can you believe it??!?). My eys were neutral and my lips were red. Very red. *smile* Loved the excuse to dress up and can't remember when the time before this last was.
People also consistantly told me how I'm a Disney princess- Belle come to life from her animated form, soft spoken.... what else? I present myself very well... *UGH UGH UGH!* *BLAH BLAH BLECK* I have decided- I HATE being refered to as a Disney princess. I used to take so much pleasure and pride in it, but I now want this school to "beat it out of me," because I want to have immense depth and be in film and tv. However, if I MUST be a Disney princess in some eyes, I am v. happy to be Belle.
Kelly and I left the club together about an hour ago. Our feet were in SO much pain from these high heels all night that she took hers off the moment we stepped outside. Eveny without her shoes on, she still hobbling! And I wasnt far behind w that! To think I used to wear heels every day- all day- of my Los Angeles life... and now I can't bear a few hours....! I'll have to build up my tollerance again.
I'm falling asleep as I type. No joke. I keep dozing and catching myself and I'm uncertain that any of this even makes sense anymore. It will be a great feat to walk into the loo to take the makeup off my face and brush my teeth.
SO MUCH WORK TO BE DONE TOMORROW! I'm off to bed.
Good night, dear readers. Sleep well!
With Love,
Juliana
Friday 25 September 2009
Wednesday 23 September 2009
10. My Acting Journal- "Compulsory"
September 23, 2009
11:18pm
Today was a very full day- as we spent the majority of our time piecing together our 3 individual group sections of our Greek story of Odysseus the Hero- and tensions rose very quickly without a "director" to take control. We actually worked quite well as a group without a leader... not too much talking over each other and we accomplished a lot, despite the extra amount of time wasted at each decision making crossroads. Our final product was fluid and imaginative, and our teachers seemed pleased with our presentation. I don't desire to explore that process again in the near future, but I am proud of us for rising to the occasion in a creative and expressive way.
We also presented our Haiku poems today. Although I wrote several, I chose the following:
"I'm in England- Whooo!
I'll have a drink in a pub
then have tea and scones"
-the last line was delivered, of course, in my best English accent, and I'm proud of myself for getting away with "Whooo!" as one of my 5 opening syllables. *grin*
...ok, if I'm being honest, it actually read, "I'll go get drunk in a pub" on that second line.
And we had to act them... so I placed myself in the middle of London- getting out of my cab with my suitcases and seeing the Towering Big Ben ahead of me. It went over well, but most everyone had great ones, so it's not a great accomplishment!
Terri encouraged us to begin an acting journal tonight- about what we've learned and how we have grown over the past 3 days. She also requested that it include a "manifesto" of sorts- an outline of what we want our working environment to be be throughout the year and how we think our peers should treat us and each other... in order to have the most productive class time possible- maximizing our growth in this very brief year. I will do my best to come up with something appropriate.
****************************************************
Mission Statement for Juliana Hansen- MA Actor, 2009/ 2010
Over my first 3 days as a student at GSA, I've learned many important lessons, both individually and as a group, which I will try to carry with me throughout my year here. The most important are bravery, committment and focused, energized team work.
Bravery is something I've always struggled with in my acting. I'll be "brave" only so far as my comfort zone, and then I tend to want to avoid other areas. This week I made the choice to face each given exercise, assignment, task, moment in class boldly- without any excuses or apologies. I was faced with everything from jumping rope (a sport which has always terrified me) to writing and performing my own Haiku poem (which, typically, I'd have worried about making the best choices, being "good" or funny or something!) to walking into a room and introducing myself (to be "judged" and feel "judged"- like walking into an audition room... I even volunteered to do this!). I didn't once freak out about any part of these or any other assignments, and only once did I ask a friend if I'd done well in fulfilling the assignment or embarrassing myself. *laugh* That's a huge deal for me! Not only did I complete assigned assignments, but I also volunteered for non-compusory (or mandatory, for you Americans) activities- because I want my experience this year to be as full and rich as it can possibly be! I learned from my bravery. I learned that nothing is as bad as not trying- even failing at jumping rope was more exciting and more of an acoomplishment than if I had sat it out! I learned that in most cases, I ENJOYED what I had been fearing. I will do my v. best to continue the application of this lesson I've learned when facing anything and everything this year.
Commitment may seem very much the same as bravery, and they do go hand in hand. However, commitment takes bravery a step further. I learned that bravery takes you to the "doing place," but one needs commitment to "do again, and better." Commitment makes no guarentees- I can commit to my jumping rope but never successfully get in a jump. What commitment does give is an imense opportunity for growth. This week I've been committed to doing every given task and exercise without questioning why or doubting the effect it will have on me. I have just jumped in head first- detatching myself from all judgement or pre-conceived notions of what it may or may not be. This has served me so much in the last 3 days. I've learned so much- especially in the times I began an activity uncertain if I would like it- or if I even understood it, as was the case sometimes- but once I began just DOING it, 99% of the time was heavily impacted by it- and in some cases, loved it! I had to commit this week to my classmates as well- commit my time and prove to be reliable as a partner in this journey. I commited to giving them- and myself- my all.
Lastly, I learned so much from working as a group- especially in the times of no "director" to voice answers or structure at us. I learned the importance of listening to each other in a focused, highly energized way, but also how to delicately balance my listening with boldness to make suggestions when we needed contribution to the whole. We were very fortunate to have warmth and support for each other from the start- something many groups need to work to obtain. We encouraged each other to do our best. No one was catty or judgemental. As the year progresses and our work gets more and more difficult, I hope we can hold on to this advantage we've found. We found a boldness within our group- not once did a teacher have to call on us to do anything because someone was always willing to volunteer and try. Lastly, we learned the importance of compromise as we were faced with making decisions about constructing an entire performance piece, without the difinitive voice of a director. Compromise not only allows time to be used efficently and for decisions to be made, but it also sometimes helps us find creative avenues to explore- which otherwise we would not have tried- which sometimes, if not frequently, expand the vision of the project and produce a better result.
It is my sincere hope- and plea- that my classmates and I will be able to remember these important lessons which we've learned these past 3 days and continue to apply them to every opportunity and every challenge we face during our our time at GSA. I hope every class and collaboration will be met with kindness, support, non-judgement/ acceptance, contribution, energized listening, time management, commitment and, above all, courage to boldly try and try and try again. In accomplishing this environment, we will all grow and learn so much.
***************************************************
Well, there you have it. I hope it wasn't too boring or abstract. It's so difficult to summerize hours and hours of work and discovery!
Tomorrow we split apart from the MAMTs and work all day with Terri. I can't wait to begin finding our own group energy togther- with only the 9 of us. I think we have some special people and expect to grow close to several of them.
It's getting more and more exciting... and I'm so tired!
With Love and a desire to go to bed,
Juliana
11:18pm
Today was a very full day- as we spent the majority of our time piecing together our 3 individual group sections of our Greek story of Odysseus the Hero- and tensions rose very quickly without a "director" to take control. We actually worked quite well as a group without a leader... not too much talking over each other and we accomplished a lot, despite the extra amount of time wasted at each decision making crossroads. Our final product was fluid and imaginative, and our teachers seemed pleased with our presentation. I don't desire to explore that process again in the near future, but I am proud of us for rising to the occasion in a creative and expressive way.
We also presented our Haiku poems today. Although I wrote several, I chose the following:
"I'm in England- Whooo!
I'll have a drink in a pub
then have tea and scones"
-the last line was delivered, of course, in my best English accent, and I'm proud of myself for getting away with "Whooo!" as one of my 5 opening syllables. *grin*
...ok, if I'm being honest, it actually read, "I'll go get drunk in a pub" on that second line.
And we had to act them... so I placed myself in the middle of London- getting out of my cab with my suitcases and seeing the Towering Big Ben ahead of me. It went over well, but most everyone had great ones, so it's not a great accomplishment!
Terri encouraged us to begin an acting journal tonight- about what we've learned and how we have grown over the past 3 days. She also requested that it include a "manifesto" of sorts- an outline of what we want our working environment to be be throughout the year and how we think our peers should treat us and each other... in order to have the most productive class time possible- maximizing our growth in this very brief year. I will do my best to come up with something appropriate.
****************************************************
Mission Statement for Juliana Hansen- MA Actor, 2009/ 2010
Over my first 3 days as a student at GSA, I've learned many important lessons, both individually and as a group, which I will try to carry with me throughout my year here. The most important are bravery, committment and focused, energized team work.
Bravery is something I've always struggled with in my acting. I'll be "brave" only so far as my comfort zone, and then I tend to want to avoid other areas. This week I made the choice to face each given exercise, assignment, task, moment in class boldly- without any excuses or apologies. I was faced with everything from jumping rope (a sport which has always terrified me) to writing and performing my own Haiku poem (which, typically, I'd have worried about making the best choices, being "good" or funny or something!) to walking into a room and introducing myself (to be "judged" and feel "judged"- like walking into an audition room... I even volunteered to do this!). I didn't once freak out about any part of these or any other assignments, and only once did I ask a friend if I'd done well in fulfilling the assignment or embarrassing myself. *laugh* That's a huge deal for me! Not only did I complete assigned assignments, but I also volunteered for non-compusory (or mandatory, for you Americans) activities- because I want my experience this year to be as full and rich as it can possibly be! I learned from my bravery. I learned that nothing is as bad as not trying- even failing at jumping rope was more exciting and more of an acoomplishment than if I had sat it out! I learned that in most cases, I ENJOYED what I had been fearing. I will do my v. best to continue the application of this lesson I've learned when facing anything and everything this year.
Commitment may seem very much the same as bravery, and they do go hand in hand. However, commitment takes bravery a step further. I learned that bravery takes you to the "doing place," but one needs commitment to "do again, and better." Commitment makes no guarentees- I can commit to my jumping rope but never successfully get in a jump. What commitment does give is an imense opportunity for growth. This week I've been committed to doing every given task and exercise without questioning why or doubting the effect it will have on me. I have just jumped in head first- detatching myself from all judgement or pre-conceived notions of what it may or may not be. This has served me so much in the last 3 days. I've learned so much- especially in the times I began an activity uncertain if I would like it- or if I even understood it, as was the case sometimes- but once I began just DOING it, 99% of the time was heavily impacted by it- and in some cases, loved it! I had to commit this week to my classmates as well- commit my time and prove to be reliable as a partner in this journey. I commited to giving them- and myself- my all.
Lastly, I learned so much from working as a group- especially in the times of no "director" to voice answers or structure at us. I learned the importance of listening to each other in a focused, highly energized way, but also how to delicately balance my listening with boldness to make suggestions when we needed contribution to the whole. We were very fortunate to have warmth and support for each other from the start- something many groups need to work to obtain. We encouraged each other to do our best. No one was catty or judgemental. As the year progresses and our work gets more and more difficult, I hope we can hold on to this advantage we've found. We found a boldness within our group- not once did a teacher have to call on us to do anything because someone was always willing to volunteer and try. Lastly, we learned the importance of compromise as we were faced with making decisions about constructing an entire performance piece, without the difinitive voice of a director. Compromise not only allows time to be used efficently and for decisions to be made, but it also sometimes helps us find creative avenues to explore- which otherwise we would not have tried- which sometimes, if not frequently, expand the vision of the project and produce a better result.
It is my sincere hope- and plea- that my classmates and I will be able to remember these important lessons which we've learned these past 3 days and continue to apply them to every opportunity and every challenge we face during our our time at GSA. I hope every class and collaboration will be met with kindness, support, non-judgement/ acceptance, contribution, energized listening, time management, commitment and, above all, courage to boldly try and try and try again. In accomplishing this environment, we will all grow and learn so much.
***************************************************
Well, there you have it. I hope it wasn't too boring or abstract. It's so difficult to summerize hours and hours of work and discovery!
Tomorrow we split apart from the MAMTs and work all day with Terri. I can't wait to begin finding our own group energy togther- with only the 9 of us. I think we have some special people and expect to grow close to several of them.
It's getting more and more exciting... and I'm so tired!
With Love and a desire to go to bed,
Juliana
Tuesday 22 September 2009
9. Theatre games and frozen pizza.
September 21, 2009
9pm
It's done. My first day as an MA Actor is over and done with, and it was quite successful in multiple ways.
The day began in a lecture hall at the Uni. But first...
When I woke this morning at 7am, I showered, dressed and had breakfast downstairs while reading my book of Proverbs mom gave me before I left LA. I was very nervous about the day and very anxious about it becoming another "CCM experience," so it was v. important for me to take some time to connect with our creator and provider and caretaker, before officially heading into the year.
Pamela had promised to knock on my door on her way to campus, so we could walk together. After my reading, and while waiting for her to arrive, I decided to do sit-ups for the first time in about 2 months; mi goodness I was weak! Luckily, she saved me about 4 push-ups in, but I won't be so lucky tomorrow. We joined the other MAs at the top (back rows) of the seating and sat for the next hour listening to the wonderful Peter Barlow, director of GSA (and also my "angel" in making this possible for me) spoke to us about goals for this year- discovering what makes each of us "tick," taking every opportunity to explore our talents, not only discovering who we are (most people do this through their relationships or define themselves by their professions), but also challenging us to begin to make a contribution to the "whole"- our class and the arts and the world. He urged us to practice intensely, giving us impressive statistics about people who spend genuine time outside of their "learning time" vs people who rarely practice, and how those who practice, regardless of either groups natural ability, succeed in much greater capacities. What struck me the most about Peter's talk to us was the idea that what distinguishes one is not how talented one is, but how much one practices and how hard one works. His talk was inspiring and a little daunting. One thing was very evident. He is a good man who really cares about his students. He stressed how GSA is a safe environment for us all to try, to fail, to grow, to explore and to give ourselves fully in this year. He then introduced us to the faculty, and I feel like I will never remember all their names or positions; there are so many of them!
After his talk, the MAs were dismissed to our workshops- held at GSA buildings. On our walk out of the room, Peter stopped me to say hello and the next thing I knew, we were giving each other a big hug, unclear as to who initiated it. He was so welcoming and sincere and kind as he looked at me and said, "what a journey you've had" with a smile on his face. I thanked him and made sure to tell him how happy I am to be here and how much I love it so far. I thanked him for helping me make this possible. He then told me he is going to New York in October and asked me to let him know if there is anything I need for him to pick up for me and bring back. How incredibly sweet he is! It felt really good getting such a nice, public welcome from the director of the school- and I think those who saw were quite impressed that he took this time he did with me. It made me feel very blessed and I think it was a direct answer to my prayers from the morning. I felt it was a little sign that everything is going to not only be ok but also support and encourage my personal and professional growth this year- in huge ways. *sigh of relief*
We spent the remainder of our day at GSA studios, with the MA MTs. Terri Fender, head of MA studies and acting, spoke to us for a long while, encouraging us to face every moment of this year with bravery. She stressed the importance of the following 4 areas:
Curiousity- encouraging us to read papers and books and to ask questions, rather the accept the 1st east answer we're given about things. This "Wanting to Know"- about people, relationships, circumstances, boundaries, ideas, politics, motives, communication, and everything else life has to offer is critical for actors.
Commitment- A commitment to the individual and ensemble aspects of our work. She encouraged us to be willing to let go of things we've been holding onto for years, not intellectualize everything or anything and to apply every technique or exercise given to us without judgement or detachment or any sort of "wait and see what this does for me" attitude. We learn by doing- even when we're asked to do odd things.
Discipline- Striving for ENERGIZED concentration and attitudes- both in our own work and in our observation of the work of others. Also, being prompt and making being in every class a priority- for the sake of our classmates and ourselves. She stressed that without discipline, there can be no freedom and there can be no art. It's just a mess. I found that profound.
and lastly but not least...
Sense of Humor- "Take the work, not myself, seriously!" This was one of the most freeing things she said to us: We are allowed to risk and fail on a grand scale. She wants us to test the boundaries and try things we've never dared to try. Be courageous! ***Without willingness to fail, there can be no growth- only obedience, which is V. different from discipline.*** "Fail and then fail again...bigger!" Often the biggest growth comes out of the biggest failures.
*deep breaths* I long to fail and achieve growth and insight! I hope and will strive for being so courageous! She, like Peter Barlow, seems like a wonderful person who genuinely cares about her students- so unlike past school experiences and teachers I've had.
We spent the remainder of the day with Martin- who is in charge of musical theatre studies and was once a big time musical theatre director (Les Mis with Cameron Macintosh). Martin played several theatre games with us including:
1. walking around the room on our own paths, then acknowledging those we pass, then "stalking" someone discreetly, avoiding someone secretly and at one point, having to walk on a grid- straight lines only- without running into each other.
2. zip! zap! boing!- using out fingers are "light saber beams" to zip people (next to us) and zap people (anyone else in the circle) at lightning speed- focusing on being clear in our intentions and quick in reflexes and spontaneity. I was terrible at this game and was the first to sit out for not reacting quickly enough!
3. circle singing- he taught us a short little folk song. We then had to sing, passing it around the circle, each person singing only one word at a time, while keeping the tempo and feel of the song consistent- as if we were all one unit, like a well oiled machine. People had a very difficult time with this one, although it came very easily for me.
4. trust exercise- he split us into 4 groups of 7 people and had us take turns in the center of the circle, eyes closed, trusting that no matter which direction we fell, our group would catch us. The circle widens as time passes- making our "falls" a greater distance and trust a bigger, more difficult task. There was something very freeing and pleasurable about being in the center. I liked the relaxed sensation of being gently passed from person to person as I swayed effortlessly in their hands. It was, however, very difficult when the circle widened.
5. getting to know each other game- everyone takes off one show and sets it before them in the circle. Someone stands in the center of the circle and says, "My name is (name), and I (true statement)" ....and then everyone else, for whom this statement is true, has to run thru the center of the circle and quickly try to find another shoe to stand out. Ultimately, one person is "out" and then must be in the center to make their own statement. I was fairly successful at this game- esp. since half the statements weren't anything I even understood because they were English specific!
6. "Yes Lets!" and "no, lets not."- teams of 2, partners A and B. Partner A must suggest, enthusiastically, activities for them to do. Partner A may offer anything he/ she wishes. Partner B MUST respond with, "yes, lets!"- no matter that. Then switch. Then the game repeats itself with the set dialogue as, "no. let's not" This exercises is to demonstrate the traps of improve- and how if someone is always saying no to someone else, the scene goes no where or really has to be fought for. I LOVED this activity- especially being partner B in "yes, lets!" and partner A in, "no, lets not." I felt really bad when I had to shoot down partner A's ideas, and I found myself trying to justify reasons, in my head, for saying no.
7. story telling- partnering up, on our backs on the floor with heads side by side (facing opposite directions) and taking turns creating a descriptive story. It was very interesting to see the story telling shift from leaving the other person "hanging" on difficult or decision-making parts to working together to advance the story, and almost matching up completely with where the other person directed it to go. My story turned out to be very realistic and sweet- with a life lesson attached. I am a nerd.
Perhaps the most interesting exercises of the day was when he had us split into groups and develop a story we could tell by using only sound. The guide was this- create an environment either real or imaginary, without using words, 2 mins long, and an event must take place during it. I had NO IDEA how to do this or what to do when we began. My group came up with a story completely void of any help or suggestions from me, but as we began working on putting it together, I found that I started contributing more and more until, finally, I seemed to be the "musical director" of my group's piece- making sure the timing wasn't rushed, that everyone knew their cues, and even contributing to the story itself. I went from contributing zero to 100% from the start to finish. Our group's was one of the 2 best, I think. We did a child's nightmare- beginning with a mother tucking her child in, kissing her good night and leaving the room, door closing behind her. The child yawns, murmers, falls asleep. The clock tick tocks in the corner of the room. The wind starts rustling. A muffled tv plays from downstairs. a storm begins slowly (snapping fingers, into banging the floor). things crash. werewolves howl. a witch cackles... finally the child screams, waking up, and runs out of the room. Nothing is left but the tick of the clock. tick tock tick tock... We presented it to the class by making them sit in the center of the room, as if they were each the child in our nightmare. When it was my turn to sit in the center while other groups presented, I closed my eyes and was amazed at how fully sound can tell a story. Almost every scene was moving.
At the end of a long, successful day, people divided and went separate ways- some to the river BBQ for freshers week, some home and Tegan, Candra and I over to Ros' house for coffee (v. strong, v. delicious!), chocolates, hippie tea and eventually frozen pizza (which was much more delicious than the pizza in town Friday night!) and salad. Ros was so generous to host us and feed us, and I was thrilled to have an opportunity to spend some time with her, as she has become one of my favorite MA girls in the last few days. She is so grounded and smart and down to earth. I'm hoping it will rub off on me! *grin* We played great music (she let me borrow a few cds- Pink Floyd's The Division Bell, King's of Leon's Only By Night, Arctic Monkeys' Whatever People Say I am, That' What I am Not and Stereophonics' Word gets Around), talked about wonderful books, read poetry and worked on our homework assignment, "Haikus" for Wednesday. It was a wonderful, wonderful time!
It's bedtime. Another long day tomorrow- who knows what is in store- improv was mentioned. I typically would be dreading that! This time, I'm actually looking forward to it. But for now... good night!
With Love (and apologies for this being so lengthy- thanks for hanging in there!),
Juliana
9pm
It's done. My first day as an MA Actor is over and done with, and it was quite successful in multiple ways.
The day began in a lecture hall at the Uni. But first...
When I woke this morning at 7am, I showered, dressed and had breakfast downstairs while reading my book of Proverbs mom gave me before I left LA. I was very nervous about the day and very anxious about it becoming another "CCM experience," so it was v. important for me to take some time to connect with our creator and provider and caretaker, before officially heading into the year.
Pamela had promised to knock on my door on her way to campus, so we could walk together. After my reading, and while waiting for her to arrive, I decided to do sit-ups for the first time in about 2 months; mi goodness I was weak! Luckily, she saved me about 4 push-ups in, but I won't be so lucky tomorrow. We joined the other MAs at the top (back rows) of the seating and sat for the next hour listening to the wonderful Peter Barlow, director of GSA (and also my "angel" in making this possible for me) spoke to us about goals for this year- discovering what makes each of us "tick," taking every opportunity to explore our talents, not only discovering who we are (most people do this through their relationships or define themselves by their professions), but also challenging us to begin to make a contribution to the "whole"- our class and the arts and the world. He urged us to practice intensely, giving us impressive statistics about people who spend genuine time outside of their "learning time" vs people who rarely practice, and how those who practice, regardless of either groups natural ability, succeed in much greater capacities. What struck me the most about Peter's talk to us was the idea that what distinguishes one is not how talented one is, but how much one practices and how hard one works. His talk was inspiring and a little daunting. One thing was very evident. He is a good man who really cares about his students. He stressed how GSA is a safe environment for us all to try, to fail, to grow, to explore and to give ourselves fully in this year. He then introduced us to the faculty, and I feel like I will never remember all their names or positions; there are so many of them!
After his talk, the MAs were dismissed to our workshops- held at GSA buildings. On our walk out of the room, Peter stopped me to say hello and the next thing I knew, we were giving each other a big hug, unclear as to who initiated it. He was so welcoming and sincere and kind as he looked at me and said, "what a journey you've had" with a smile on his face. I thanked him and made sure to tell him how happy I am to be here and how much I love it so far. I thanked him for helping me make this possible. He then told me he is going to New York in October and asked me to let him know if there is anything I need for him to pick up for me and bring back. How incredibly sweet he is! It felt really good getting such a nice, public welcome from the director of the school- and I think those who saw were quite impressed that he took this time he did with me. It made me feel very blessed and I think it was a direct answer to my prayers from the morning. I felt it was a little sign that everything is going to not only be ok but also support and encourage my personal and professional growth this year- in huge ways. *sigh of relief*
We spent the remainder of our day at GSA studios, with the MA MTs. Terri Fender, head of MA studies and acting, spoke to us for a long while, encouraging us to face every moment of this year with bravery. She stressed the importance of the following 4 areas:
Curiousity- encouraging us to read papers and books and to ask questions, rather the accept the 1st east answer we're given about things. This "Wanting to Know"- about people, relationships, circumstances, boundaries, ideas, politics, motives, communication, and everything else life has to offer is critical for actors.
Commitment- A commitment to the individual and ensemble aspects of our work. She encouraged us to be willing to let go of things we've been holding onto for years, not intellectualize everything or anything and to apply every technique or exercise given to us without judgement or detachment or any sort of "wait and see what this does for me" attitude. We learn by doing- even when we're asked to do odd things.
Discipline- Striving for ENERGIZED concentration and attitudes- both in our own work and in our observation of the work of others. Also, being prompt and making being in every class a priority- for the sake of our classmates and ourselves. She stressed that without discipline, there can be no freedom and there can be no art. It's just a mess. I found that profound.
and lastly but not least...
Sense of Humor- "Take the work, not myself, seriously!" This was one of the most freeing things she said to us: We are allowed to risk and fail on a grand scale. She wants us to test the boundaries and try things we've never dared to try. Be courageous! ***Without willingness to fail, there can be no growth- only obedience, which is V. different from discipline.*** "Fail and then fail again...bigger!" Often the biggest growth comes out of the biggest failures.
*deep breaths* I long to fail and achieve growth and insight! I hope and will strive for being so courageous! She, like Peter Barlow, seems like a wonderful person who genuinely cares about her students- so unlike past school experiences and teachers I've had.
We spent the remainder of the day with Martin- who is in charge of musical theatre studies and was once a big time musical theatre director (Les Mis with Cameron Macintosh). Martin played several theatre games with us including:
1. walking around the room on our own paths, then acknowledging those we pass, then "stalking" someone discreetly, avoiding someone secretly and at one point, having to walk on a grid- straight lines only- without running into each other.
2. zip! zap! boing!- using out fingers are "light saber beams" to zip people (next to us) and zap people (anyone else in the circle) at lightning speed- focusing on being clear in our intentions and quick in reflexes and spontaneity. I was terrible at this game and was the first to sit out for not reacting quickly enough!
3. circle singing- he taught us a short little folk song. We then had to sing, passing it around the circle, each person singing only one word at a time, while keeping the tempo and feel of the song consistent- as if we were all one unit, like a well oiled machine. People had a very difficult time with this one, although it came very easily for me.
4. trust exercise- he split us into 4 groups of 7 people and had us take turns in the center of the circle, eyes closed, trusting that no matter which direction we fell, our group would catch us. The circle widens as time passes- making our "falls" a greater distance and trust a bigger, more difficult task. There was something very freeing and pleasurable about being in the center. I liked the relaxed sensation of being gently passed from person to person as I swayed effortlessly in their hands. It was, however, very difficult when the circle widened.
5. getting to know each other game- everyone takes off one show and sets it before them in the circle. Someone stands in the center of the circle and says, "My name is (name), and I (true statement)" ....and then everyone else, for whom this statement is true, has to run thru the center of the circle and quickly try to find another shoe to stand out. Ultimately, one person is "out" and then must be in the center to make their own statement. I was fairly successful at this game- esp. since half the statements weren't anything I even understood because they were English specific!
6. "Yes Lets!" and "no, lets not."- teams of 2, partners A and B. Partner A must suggest, enthusiastically, activities for them to do. Partner A may offer anything he/ she wishes. Partner B MUST respond with, "yes, lets!"- no matter that. Then switch. Then the game repeats itself with the set dialogue as, "no. let's not" This exercises is to demonstrate the traps of improve- and how if someone is always saying no to someone else, the scene goes no where or really has to be fought for. I LOVED this activity- especially being partner B in "yes, lets!" and partner A in, "no, lets not." I felt really bad when I had to shoot down partner A's ideas, and I found myself trying to justify reasons, in my head, for saying no.
7. story telling- partnering up, on our backs on the floor with heads side by side (facing opposite directions) and taking turns creating a descriptive story. It was very interesting to see the story telling shift from leaving the other person "hanging" on difficult or decision-making parts to working together to advance the story, and almost matching up completely with where the other person directed it to go. My story turned out to be very realistic and sweet- with a life lesson attached. I am a nerd.
Perhaps the most interesting exercises of the day was when he had us split into groups and develop a story we could tell by using only sound. The guide was this- create an environment either real or imaginary, without using words, 2 mins long, and an event must take place during it. I had NO IDEA how to do this or what to do when we began. My group came up with a story completely void of any help or suggestions from me, but as we began working on putting it together, I found that I started contributing more and more until, finally, I seemed to be the "musical director" of my group's piece- making sure the timing wasn't rushed, that everyone knew their cues, and even contributing to the story itself. I went from contributing zero to 100% from the start to finish. Our group's was one of the 2 best, I think. We did a child's nightmare- beginning with a mother tucking her child in, kissing her good night and leaving the room, door closing behind her. The child yawns, murmers, falls asleep. The clock tick tocks in the corner of the room. The wind starts rustling. A muffled tv plays from downstairs. a storm begins slowly (snapping fingers, into banging the floor). things crash. werewolves howl. a witch cackles... finally the child screams, waking up, and runs out of the room. Nothing is left but the tick of the clock. tick tock tick tock... We presented it to the class by making them sit in the center of the room, as if they were each the child in our nightmare. When it was my turn to sit in the center while other groups presented, I closed my eyes and was amazed at how fully sound can tell a story. Almost every scene was moving.
At the end of a long, successful day, people divided and went separate ways- some to the river BBQ for freshers week, some home and Tegan, Candra and I over to Ros' house for coffee (v. strong, v. delicious!), chocolates, hippie tea and eventually frozen pizza (which was much more delicious than the pizza in town Friday night!) and salad. Ros was so generous to host us and feed us, and I was thrilled to have an opportunity to spend some time with her, as she has become one of my favorite MA girls in the last few days. She is so grounded and smart and down to earth. I'm hoping it will rub off on me! *grin* We played great music (she let me borrow a few cds- Pink Floyd's The Division Bell, King's of Leon's Only By Night, Arctic Monkeys' Whatever People Say I am, That' What I am Not and Stereophonics' Word gets Around), talked about wonderful books, read poetry and worked on our homework assignment, "Haikus" for Wednesday. It was a wonderful, wonderful time!
It's bedtime. Another long day tomorrow- who knows what is in store- improv was mentioned. I typically would be dreading that! This time, I'm actually looking forward to it. But for now... good night!
With Love (and apologies for this being so lengthy- thanks for hanging in there!),
Juliana
Saturday 19 September 2009
8. Getting to know you
September 19, 2009
8:43pm
I didn't write yesterday, because after a very long day of registration pt. 2, I had a dr. appointment and then dinner, London planning and a Haunted Guildford walk. By the time I got home, it was v. late, I was v. tired and I was a little tipsy from red wine.
At 8:30am, I somehow managed to make my way to GSA to talk to Jo in the finance office about why there was no paper work for me on Thursday- and the status of my loans (which I had checked on the night before, and the payments have been verified with the first installment disbursed). She was v. friendly and apologlized for my having to wake up early, and when we were finished, I made my way to Starbucks for oatmeal- or porridge- as they call it. While sitting there enjoying my oatmeal very much (as they steam milk into it, which is delicious!), Charlotte rang me to say she and Tegan were 2 mins from my door to pick me up and walk the rest of the way together. We met about 10mins later on the High St., and I was so happy to already be walking to school with new friends who are such cool girls.
The day was v. long and v. boring. Mostly, we had talks about the Student Union, Campus safety and scheduling (which, btw, is SO CONFUSING we were all a little panicked about learning this system! Why can't everything be the same each week?!!?) The highlight of the day was the fire code talk from someone connected with the University, because he began and ended it with making balloon animals for us. I got a pink elephant, and I cannot tell you what I've named him fo fear it will incriminate me. *smile* Charlotte though mine was so cute that she wanted one too, but because there were no more pink balloons, hers is yellow... and I'm guessing she didn't name it. I'm a nerd.
The campus doctor's facility is very nice. I talked with a nurse about the possibility of a menegitis C vaccination; however, she tells me one only needs the injection once in a lifetime, and if I've had it as a kid, I don't need it again. I can't imagine that I didnt have it as a child...
Here's where it gets fun. At 6:15pm I met my 2 au pair friends, Lieke and Josefina under the Guildhall clock for dinner and the Haunted Guildford walk we'd been looking forward to all week. Josefina had a coupon for a pizza place on the high st.- 2 pizzas for ten pounds, so we set off. We are NOT in New York. The pizza place was v. nice; the pizza itself was v. mediocre. One noteworthy mention- the English put EGG on their pizza. How bizarre is that? EGG! We decided to make one of our pizzas experimental and try it the English way because we are, afterall, in England. The verdict? We'll pass next time.
At 8pm we met in front of Trinity church. The church bells tolled, the sky was black, and we were already terrified. The man who leads the tour suddenly appeared on the steps and silently motioned for us to step forward. He was really convincingly creepy until he opened his mouth and began yelling orders at us. His character choice was to be a creepy, ghost hunter who heard voices in his head telling him to kill the members of the tour group and who could- at any moment and seemingly without cause- switch from being childlike and fun to mean and scary. He told lots of jokes. He used lot of props. The information he shared was convincing and some of it was def. creepy- stories of people seeing a young girl in a local pub, ghosts of the castle, cries coming from a shop at night... We walked through St. Mary's graveyard, which was scary in itself. Overall, however, I would have enjoyed it much more and been much more terrified had he not been so silly.
After the tour, the girls and I got drinks at the friars pub- apparently haunted and visibly a popular hangout. We had a wonderful time getting to know each other better- talking about what our countries are like, talking about dating and drinking stories and travel... sharing pictures of the kids in our lives... planning London... It was at this time that I realised how amazing this experience is going to be socially. I'm learning so much about other parts of the world and their culture and ways of living, and it's really exciting. I may even have the opportunity to visit Finland and The Netherlands with these girls sometime this year. Having international friends is wonderful, and I feel pretty incredibly lucky! At 11pm I headed home- thoroughly exhausted from my day and having thoroughly enjoyed my night with my new friends. AND- looking forward to next Saturday night's dinner and sleepover at Lieke's, where we will watch a scary movie (made esp. scary by her creepy old house!) and The Wizard Of OZ, because Josefina has never seen it and that is unacceptable in this life.
This morning Charlotte, Tegan and I walked to town to get food for tomorrow's brunch- which has 6 confirmed guests, with possibly 4 more coming too. Because English pancakes are apparently thin and nothing like real pancakes, there is no pancake mix to be found here. Tegan and I are, instead, making our own with a recipe she found on-line. But, pancake making is not without a glitch. Maple syrup has presented a problem for us and the problem is this. IT"S FREAKIN EXPENSIVE HERE!!! You can't find it for under 5 pounds, which maybe we've gotten hung up on it, but it seems outrageously expensive. So, as of now, we do not have syrup for our pancakes in the morning. EEK! Nutella may be the only option.
Later in the day, I texted a fellow MA Actress to see if she was around, and we ended up spending about 3hrs. together in town. Pamela is Scottish, and before today I had hardly spoken to her at all, although I thought I would like her. I am so happy we got to know each other a little today, because she has a terrific accent. No, just kidding. I'm really happy we got to know each other a little today because she is a great girl. She is turning 26yrs. in a week, she has an older sister, and she has a BA in zoology- which is so neat! We shared audition stories, and apparently she had auditioned for GSA a few years ago and not gotten in. She only recently began acting professionally- doing children's theatre and supporting herself through it, solely. She is down to earth, interesting, and seems like a good person. We went on a crazed mission to find towels (success!), tuppuware (failed), a re-usable water bottle (failed) and groceries (success!). We also walked around the farmers market and found these delicious gourmet mini cupcakes these 2 friendly women bake, and Pamela bought some for tomorrow. YAY! carrot cake, red velvet, chocolate, plain, tropical (which has bananna and coconut in the batter-mmmm). The women liked us so much that they threw in a box of the giant ones too. *grin*
Tonight I made myself dinner- fish tacos with fajita grilled peppers and onions (chopping it made me CRY and my nose run like crazy!) and fresh tomato. DELICIOUS! I feel a little guilty for not being more sociable and hanging out with other MAs, but I really value my alone time and down time, and I know that I'll be seeing tons of them v. v. soon. Besides, I need to save money!
Off for a cup of tea.
With Love,
Juliana
8:43pm
I didn't write yesterday, because after a very long day of registration pt. 2, I had a dr. appointment and then dinner, London planning and a Haunted Guildford walk. By the time I got home, it was v. late, I was v. tired and I was a little tipsy from red wine.
At 8:30am, I somehow managed to make my way to GSA to talk to Jo in the finance office about why there was no paper work for me on Thursday- and the status of my loans (which I had checked on the night before, and the payments have been verified with the first installment disbursed). She was v. friendly and apologlized for my having to wake up early, and when we were finished, I made my way to Starbucks for oatmeal- or porridge- as they call it. While sitting there enjoying my oatmeal very much (as they steam milk into it, which is delicious!), Charlotte rang me to say she and Tegan were 2 mins from my door to pick me up and walk the rest of the way together. We met about 10mins later on the High St., and I was so happy to already be walking to school with new friends who are such cool girls.
The day was v. long and v. boring. Mostly, we had talks about the Student Union, Campus safety and scheduling (which, btw, is SO CONFUSING we were all a little panicked about learning this system! Why can't everything be the same each week?!!?) The highlight of the day was the fire code talk from someone connected with the University, because he began and ended it with making balloon animals for us. I got a pink elephant, and I cannot tell you what I've named him fo fear it will incriminate me. *smile* Charlotte though mine was so cute that she wanted one too, but because there were no more pink balloons, hers is yellow... and I'm guessing she didn't name it. I'm a nerd.
The campus doctor's facility is very nice. I talked with a nurse about the possibility of a menegitis C vaccination; however, she tells me one only needs the injection once in a lifetime, and if I've had it as a kid, I don't need it again. I can't imagine that I didnt have it as a child...
Here's where it gets fun. At 6:15pm I met my 2 au pair friends, Lieke and Josefina under the Guildhall clock for dinner and the Haunted Guildford walk we'd been looking forward to all week. Josefina had a coupon for a pizza place on the high st.- 2 pizzas for ten pounds, so we set off. We are NOT in New York. The pizza place was v. nice; the pizza itself was v. mediocre. One noteworthy mention- the English put EGG on their pizza. How bizarre is that? EGG! We decided to make one of our pizzas experimental and try it the English way because we are, afterall, in England. The verdict? We'll pass next time.
At 8pm we met in front of Trinity church. The church bells tolled, the sky was black, and we were already terrified. The man who leads the tour suddenly appeared on the steps and silently motioned for us to step forward. He was really convincingly creepy until he opened his mouth and began yelling orders at us. His character choice was to be a creepy, ghost hunter who heard voices in his head telling him to kill the members of the tour group and who could- at any moment and seemingly without cause- switch from being childlike and fun to mean and scary. He told lots of jokes. He used lot of props. The information he shared was convincing and some of it was def. creepy- stories of people seeing a young girl in a local pub, ghosts of the castle, cries coming from a shop at night... We walked through St. Mary's graveyard, which was scary in itself. Overall, however, I would have enjoyed it much more and been much more terrified had he not been so silly.
After the tour, the girls and I got drinks at the friars pub- apparently haunted and visibly a popular hangout. We had a wonderful time getting to know each other better- talking about what our countries are like, talking about dating and drinking stories and travel... sharing pictures of the kids in our lives... planning London... It was at this time that I realised how amazing this experience is going to be socially. I'm learning so much about other parts of the world and their culture and ways of living, and it's really exciting. I may even have the opportunity to visit Finland and The Netherlands with these girls sometime this year. Having international friends is wonderful, and I feel pretty incredibly lucky! At 11pm I headed home- thoroughly exhausted from my day and having thoroughly enjoyed my night with my new friends. AND- looking forward to next Saturday night's dinner and sleepover at Lieke's, where we will watch a scary movie (made esp. scary by her creepy old house!) and The Wizard Of OZ, because Josefina has never seen it and that is unacceptable in this life.
This morning Charlotte, Tegan and I walked to town to get food for tomorrow's brunch- which has 6 confirmed guests, with possibly 4 more coming too. Because English pancakes are apparently thin and nothing like real pancakes, there is no pancake mix to be found here. Tegan and I are, instead, making our own with a recipe she found on-line. But, pancake making is not without a glitch. Maple syrup has presented a problem for us and the problem is this. IT"S FREAKIN EXPENSIVE HERE!!! You can't find it for under 5 pounds, which maybe we've gotten hung up on it, but it seems outrageously expensive. So, as of now, we do not have syrup for our pancakes in the morning. EEK! Nutella may be the only option.
Later in the day, I texted a fellow MA Actress to see if she was around, and we ended up spending about 3hrs. together in town. Pamela is Scottish, and before today I had hardly spoken to her at all, although I thought I would like her. I am so happy we got to know each other a little today, because she has a terrific accent. No, just kidding. I'm really happy we got to know each other a little today because she is a great girl. She is turning 26yrs. in a week, she has an older sister, and she has a BA in zoology- which is so neat! We shared audition stories, and apparently she had auditioned for GSA a few years ago and not gotten in. She only recently began acting professionally- doing children's theatre and supporting herself through it, solely. She is down to earth, interesting, and seems like a good person. We went on a crazed mission to find towels (success!), tuppuware (failed), a re-usable water bottle (failed) and groceries (success!). We also walked around the farmers market and found these delicious gourmet mini cupcakes these 2 friendly women bake, and Pamela bought some for tomorrow. YAY! carrot cake, red velvet, chocolate, plain, tropical (which has bananna and coconut in the batter-mmmm). The women liked us so much that they threw in a box of the giant ones too. *grin*
Tonight I made myself dinner- fish tacos with fajita grilled peppers and onions (chopping it made me CRY and my nose run like crazy!) and fresh tomato. DELICIOUS! I feel a little guilty for not being more sociable and hanging out with other MAs, but I really value my alone time and down time, and I know that I'll be seeing tons of them v. v. soon. Besides, I need to save money!
Off for a cup of tea.
With Love,
Juliana
Thursday 17 September 2009
7. Internationally diverse, but really not so different.
September 17, 2009
9:33pm
Aside from not knowing whether or not I've "paid" for my course, I'm feeling pretty darn good about this place and time in my life. I enjoyed registration much more than I thought I would at the start of today. This morning, I was hanging back, mostly observing people and the energy in our "registration room", and I didn't have much to say to anyone. I was trying to figure out who might be MA Actors vs the MA Musical Theatres, who was an International student and if there was anyone close to my age in the room.
Of all the seats I could have sat it, I picked the one next to Tegan, the American girl I was supposed to meet up with yesterday and never did. She introduced herself right away and introduced me to the girl sitting next to her- Charlotte- Tegan's roomie and another MA Actor. I like Charlotte immediately and was glad she's on my course.
As aluded to above, the morning began shakey. I realised that, instead of having the required TWO passport photos, I only had ONE. Also, when I tried to find a pen in my little pen pouch (I came so prepared! I thought!) to fill out my registration form with, I didnt have one. Tegan let me borrow one of hers. Then, when we had to meet individually with the financial aid representitive to see our financial status re. payment to the school, he told me he didnt have any forms or information on me at all. Freakin Great. I just don't know how other students have managed, but even with emailing Elaine Breakenridge in financial aid almost daily, I've still managed to end up as one of the nightmare cases and I'll be going in bright an early tomorrow morning to try to sort it out. *sigh*
The rest of the day began looking up- especially around lunch time. I sat with a group of lovely girls over lunch- Charlotte (MAA), Tegan (MAMT), Ros (MAA), Kelly (MAA)... and we got to know each other better- over stories of regretful drunken hangovers and tea. I also learned a little more about each girl's story- age, family, home, etc. I discovered that not only am I not the oldest student on the course (we have a few 30yr. olds), but I also am not the only one accepted on a "Professional Credits" offer, vs having my BA- as Charlotte is in the v. same situation! She spent time touring with Joseph... (a musical!) and has worked professionally in dance and musical performances for years. It felt really good to connect to someone with a similar background to me, who shares in my nerves and also goals for the program- to be a better actress. Tegan also shares a story with me. We both began college for musical theatre, and we were both told we couldn't do it. Although she completed her BA in another field- whereas I just left and moved to NY- I can see she has some of the same wounds I spent so many years getting rid of, and I empathise with her greatly. I am also so proud of her for saying "screw you" to her university and coming to pursue musical theatre at GSA instead! (a school which will carry much more weight on her resume anyhow!)
Many people today talked about their audition process to be accepted into this program. Apparently, roughly 3,000 applicants auditioned, and only 8 Acting and 15 (?) Musical Theatre sudents were accepted. WOW. They had about 3 rounds of auditions as well- call backs and work sessions! I'm sorry I missed out of the work sessions, as they sound like fun. But it made me feel good and thankful that Peter Barlow not only saw me for a private audition, but that his faith in me was great enough to offer me a spot here without seeing me 3 times and in work sessions. It confirms to me, again, that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be.
We toured the campus of both the University and of Millmead Terrace- where the old GSA buildings are. The campus has so much to offer- a great cafeteria with lots of gourmet coffees and teas, a wonderful library where I can not only reserve and check out books but also DVDs, free student health care- doctor's visits, prescriptions, counseling sessions... and a student union which offers everything from sporting groups to yoga classes and budgeting advice. (I need this and will take advantage!).
In one of the GSA buildings we toured, we got to watch the advanced fencing students practicing. They were wonderful and the course looks amazing! I learned that in January we will begin our week long stage combat intensive training- from 9-5:30 every day!- and at the end of that time, we will have the option to pay twenty-five pounds and continue training... and eventually be taken to a haunted castle for a fencing match! A M A Z I N G. I don't care if I'm the worst fencer they've ever seen, I am paying that money and taking this course! It, btw, is equivalent to a seven hundred pound course offered outside a school environment. I can't freakin' wait!!!!!!!
At the v. end of the day, we all went for drinks at the local pub near Millmead Terrace. Most of us went non-alcoholic, and I myself had a ginger beer (no beer in it). It was my first and v. delicious. Cannot make a habit of them though. Starting Monday, I am becomming the world's healthiest eater- protein and veggies!!! But today, the cold sugary fizzing ginger beer was divine!
Finally, a few of the girls and I decided to have a Sunday "dinner" at 1pm at my place this weekend. We will each team up with another girl (so to lower the costs!) and contibute something- wine, cheese, pasta, fruit... and we will sit out on my balcony and enjoy the view. I'm so glad they are looking to do mature, fun things rather than just go out bar hopping every night. What a relief!
Well, I'm officially exhausted! And exhausted at the thought of having to wake at 7am again and deal with finances 1st thing in the morning. I am so worried I'm going to run out of money while I'm here! I know I have people in my life who love me and will help me, but I'm so uncomfotable asking- not for pride's sake but because I never want to seem like I'm taking advantage (when these friendships are SO MUCH MORE important to me!!!). *huge sigh* Lord, bring the money from somewhere! For now- I'll live in this moment of having enough and being on this wonderful journey.
With Love and very sleepy,
Juliana
P.S. I forgot to mention how good it feels to be the different one- the one who is from Los Angeles and New York. New York is the center of everything- or at least it felt so today! *smile*
9:33pm
Aside from not knowing whether or not I've "paid" for my course, I'm feeling pretty darn good about this place and time in my life. I enjoyed registration much more than I thought I would at the start of today. This morning, I was hanging back, mostly observing people and the energy in our "registration room", and I didn't have much to say to anyone. I was trying to figure out who might be MA Actors vs the MA Musical Theatres, who was an International student and if there was anyone close to my age in the room.
Of all the seats I could have sat it, I picked the one next to Tegan, the American girl I was supposed to meet up with yesterday and never did. She introduced herself right away and introduced me to the girl sitting next to her- Charlotte- Tegan's roomie and another MA Actor. I like Charlotte immediately and was glad she's on my course.
As aluded to above, the morning began shakey. I realised that, instead of having the required TWO passport photos, I only had ONE. Also, when I tried to find a pen in my little pen pouch (I came so prepared! I thought!) to fill out my registration form with, I didnt have one. Tegan let me borrow one of hers. Then, when we had to meet individually with the financial aid representitive to see our financial status re. payment to the school, he told me he didnt have any forms or information on me at all. Freakin Great. I just don't know how other students have managed, but even with emailing Elaine Breakenridge in financial aid almost daily, I've still managed to end up as one of the nightmare cases and I'll be going in bright an early tomorrow morning to try to sort it out. *sigh*
The rest of the day began looking up- especially around lunch time. I sat with a group of lovely girls over lunch- Charlotte (MAA), Tegan (MAMT), Ros (MAA), Kelly (MAA)... and we got to know each other better- over stories of regretful drunken hangovers and tea. I also learned a little more about each girl's story- age, family, home, etc. I discovered that not only am I not the oldest student on the course (we have a few 30yr. olds), but I also am not the only one accepted on a "Professional Credits" offer, vs having my BA- as Charlotte is in the v. same situation! She spent time touring with Joseph... (a musical!) and has worked professionally in dance and musical performances for years. It felt really good to connect to someone with a similar background to me, who shares in my nerves and also goals for the program- to be a better actress. Tegan also shares a story with me. We both began college for musical theatre, and we were both told we couldn't do it. Although she completed her BA in another field- whereas I just left and moved to NY- I can see she has some of the same wounds I spent so many years getting rid of, and I empathise with her greatly. I am also so proud of her for saying "screw you" to her university and coming to pursue musical theatre at GSA instead! (a school which will carry much more weight on her resume anyhow!)
Many people today talked about their audition process to be accepted into this program. Apparently, roughly 3,000 applicants auditioned, and only 8 Acting and 15 (?) Musical Theatre sudents were accepted. WOW. They had about 3 rounds of auditions as well- call backs and work sessions! I'm sorry I missed out of the work sessions, as they sound like fun. But it made me feel good and thankful that Peter Barlow not only saw me for a private audition, but that his faith in me was great enough to offer me a spot here without seeing me 3 times and in work sessions. It confirms to me, again, that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be.
We toured the campus of both the University and of Millmead Terrace- where the old GSA buildings are. The campus has so much to offer- a great cafeteria with lots of gourmet coffees and teas, a wonderful library where I can not only reserve and check out books but also DVDs, free student health care- doctor's visits, prescriptions, counseling sessions... and a student union which offers everything from sporting groups to yoga classes and budgeting advice. (I need this and will take advantage!).
In one of the GSA buildings we toured, we got to watch the advanced fencing students practicing. They were wonderful and the course looks amazing! I learned that in January we will begin our week long stage combat intensive training- from 9-5:30 every day!- and at the end of that time, we will have the option to pay twenty-five pounds and continue training... and eventually be taken to a haunted castle for a fencing match! A M A Z I N G. I don't care if I'm the worst fencer they've ever seen, I am paying that money and taking this course! It, btw, is equivalent to a seven hundred pound course offered outside a school environment. I can't freakin' wait!!!!!!!
At the v. end of the day, we all went for drinks at the local pub near Millmead Terrace. Most of us went non-alcoholic, and I myself had a ginger beer (no beer in it). It was my first and v. delicious. Cannot make a habit of them though. Starting Monday, I am becomming the world's healthiest eater- protein and veggies!!! But today, the cold sugary fizzing ginger beer was divine!
Finally, a few of the girls and I decided to have a Sunday "dinner" at 1pm at my place this weekend. We will each team up with another girl (so to lower the costs!) and contibute something- wine, cheese, pasta, fruit... and we will sit out on my balcony and enjoy the view. I'm so glad they are looking to do mature, fun things rather than just go out bar hopping every night. What a relief!
Well, I'm officially exhausted! And exhausted at the thought of having to wake at 7am again and deal with finances 1st thing in the morning. I am so worried I'm going to run out of money while I'm here! I know I have people in my life who love me and will help me, but I'm so uncomfotable asking- not for pride's sake but because I never want to seem like I'm taking advantage (when these friendships are SO MUCH MORE important to me!!!). *huge sigh* Lord, bring the money from somewhere! For now- I'll live in this moment of having enough and being on this wonderful journey.
With Love and very sleepy,
Juliana
P.S. I forgot to mention how good it feels to be the different one- the one who is from Los Angeles and New York. New York is the center of everything- or at least it felt so today! *smile*
Wednesday 16 September 2009
6. Chapped lips, and first day jitters.
September 16, 2009
10:25pm
My lips have been chapped for over 2 days now. Severely chapped. Like, I should see a doctor about them or something. I have never experienced this before. My hands are chapped too. In fact, my whole body is dehydrated and in serious need of some TLC- and I'm at a loss of what to do. I'm certain this "all-over chapping" is the direct result of the intensely overworking water furnace I now share a bedroom with. It seems to be on every second of every day, and my room is always hot- no matter how cold it is outside. Noisy and hot= my bedroom. Noisy, because the traffic is speeding by my window (Roger and Tom have the same problem) at all hours of the night, as I believe Walnut Tree Close is the main road into town. It sounds like I am complaining. I am not. I've managed to sleep quite well with my window open- which cools my room- despite the traffic noise, and both are v. v. small prices to pay for being in such an unbelievable apartement- location, design, patio, roommates... virtually perfect in every other way! I am, however, quite miffed about my chapped lips (which are always so smooth and silky soft) and no amount of chapstick or lip gloss in the world seems to fix them! HELP!!!*
Tomorrow is orientation. It's all begining now. Soon I'll have no more time to frolick away my days in the English countryside or at the castle ruins. I'll have little time to even write. I'm so apprehensive about the start of all of this. It's been so long since I've been in school, and I've never have formal technique training... I imagine it's going to take my mind and body some getting used to the demands of the program- dance classes, stage combat, enormous amounts of material to memorize, research to be done... digging into myself and discovering what makes me feel emotional extremes. This scares me the most. I don't know if I know myself well enough to even have answers to these questions, let alone to draw upon my inner most thoughts and feelings and use them in my art! My art! Wow.
I expect I'll be a little behind my 8 fellow classmates (there are only 9 of us, MA Actors. *grin*) who have complete their undergrads and have had years of technique training. I'll also be dealing with dialect and culture barriers, and I'll be proud of myself if I don't spend the entire first week struggling to understand what people are saying or why something is funny. And, I must mention, I am the ONLY American in my program- so I'm unable to even share my struggle!
I am (for the most part) at peace with all of this. My goals are not to be the best or to outshine anyone else. If I can keep remembering that my goals are to learn, to grow, to leave a better actress than I presently am and to earn my degree, I will be just fine. This will not change the fact that when faced with learning and perfecting THREE English dialects (Northern, London, Queen's English), I may become very frustrated very quickly with the confusion they may bring!
This morning, I spent some time examining my specific goals for my year in the program. It comes down to three things.
1. I want to increase my ability to convincingly convey truth- the truth in a moment and the truth of my emotional experience and response.
2. I want increased vulnerability in my personal life and my work.
3. I want to work on my speech- and learn to turn my "perfect diction" (I hate it so much) on and off, for whichever will best serve me and a particular role.
So there you go. I've just put what I want out into the universe, and I am expecting to be heard!
I walked over to the University to locate The School of Management Building where we all meet at 9am tomorrow. It's easy to get to from my place and shoud take about 15 mins. I will be allowing a half hour, since I am notoriously late for everything (a trait I don't like and am working hard to change in myself).
From here, I walked back along the river- with sliced apples wrapped in tin foil tucked away in my bag and high hopes of seeing my horses again. I stopped at St. Catherine's church to have lunch (ham sandwhich with cheese and dijon on whole grain bread and a gala apple) on top of the hill. It was SO BEAUTIFUL up there today! The blue sky, puffy clouds, bright sun- they were all at their lovliest- and I couldn't resist singing at the top. I wanted to run and dance, but this I did not do. As I was eating, the wind picked up and got severe fast, ending my blistful moment and foiling my plan to read some Eat Pray Love after my lunch.
I continued my walk along the river, enjoying the names on the boats as I passed by. I saw a young couple in a rowboat, with a gaggle of ducks boldly following behind them- quacking demandingly and no doubt expecting to be fed.
When I came to the little meadow where the horses are, I was dismayed to see them so far into the center of the field and completely out of reach (and sight of my apples offering!). I considered hopping the fence and walking to them, but common sense did her job and I decided, rather, to sit and read. I climbed a little hill to where a stone, circular structure was standing on top, and before planting myself down on a nearby tree stump, I read,
"This World War II pill box was one of over 5,000 built in the early 1940s. .... This was the last number of defence lines protecting the capital and key industrial areas. ...... Pill box positions took advantage of natural and man-made obsticles such as rivers, canals and embankments and housed machine guns and anti-tank weapons"
NEATO! My imagination begain to run wild with this new information and little hideaway I'd just discovered. I imagined being a young girl in love with a handsome soldier who was stationed at a pill box like this one- always worried sick about him never returning. Ok. I am a nerd. It's true. I admit it freely. But I'm fairly certain that- if faced with as much historical sites as I've explored this week- you all would be a little nerdy as well. *wink* It's outrageous.
While reading, I met an older woman and her little terrier called Tess. Mary (that was this woman's name) was very kind and spoke to me a long time about Guildford, GSA, America and "Open London"- giving me all sorts of ideas of what to see it Lieke, Josefina and I decide to go this weekend afterall. The Parliment building will be open for viewing, which is so neat... maybe we will do up afterall? I took a picture will Tess, who had happily been enjoying my pets the whole while Mary and I were speaking, and said goodbye. It was a disappointment to not see the horses, but meeting Mary and Tess made up for it a little.
The only other noteworthy point of my day (and then I really must get myself ready for tomorrow!!!) is the dinner I made myself. Not much of a cook (although I LOVE to try!), tonight I baked fish for the first time! I've never baked anything before(except no pudge brownies- which requires v little skill). Not only was it successful, but it was incredibly delicious! I put my salmon in foil with lots of frsh lemon, fresh dill and a little back pepper, grilled up some peppers and about 45mins later had a perfect meal. Noteworthy, indeed.
Now, dear readers, I must tear myself away from this computer, gather my things for tomorrow and get a good night's sleep! Wish me luck!
With Love,
Juliana
*** a mini humidifier has been suggested to me, but there just seems to be no room for another source of heat in my little dollhouse room! Again... if I'm desperate...
10:25pm
My lips have been chapped for over 2 days now. Severely chapped. Like, I should see a doctor about them or something. I have never experienced this before. My hands are chapped too. In fact, my whole body is dehydrated and in serious need of some TLC- and I'm at a loss of what to do. I'm certain this "all-over chapping" is the direct result of the intensely overworking water furnace I now share a bedroom with. It seems to be on every second of every day, and my room is always hot- no matter how cold it is outside. Noisy and hot= my bedroom. Noisy, because the traffic is speeding by my window (Roger and Tom have the same problem) at all hours of the night, as I believe Walnut Tree Close is the main road into town. It sounds like I am complaining. I am not. I've managed to sleep quite well with my window open- which cools my room- despite the traffic noise, and both are v. v. small prices to pay for being in such an unbelievable apartement- location, design, patio, roommates... virtually perfect in every other way! I am, however, quite miffed about my chapped lips (which are always so smooth and silky soft) and no amount of chapstick or lip gloss in the world seems to fix them! HELP!!!*
Tomorrow is orientation. It's all begining now. Soon I'll have no more time to frolick away my days in the English countryside or at the castle ruins. I'll have little time to even write. I'm so apprehensive about the start of all of this. It's been so long since I've been in school, and I've never have formal technique training... I imagine it's going to take my mind and body some getting used to the demands of the program- dance classes, stage combat, enormous amounts of material to memorize, research to be done... digging into myself and discovering what makes me feel emotional extremes. This scares me the most. I don't know if I know myself well enough to even have answers to these questions, let alone to draw upon my inner most thoughts and feelings and use them in my art! My art! Wow.
I expect I'll be a little behind my 8 fellow classmates (there are only 9 of us, MA Actors. *grin*) who have complete their undergrads and have had years of technique training. I'll also be dealing with dialect and culture barriers, and I'll be proud of myself if I don't spend the entire first week struggling to understand what people are saying or why something is funny. And, I must mention, I am the ONLY American in my program- so I'm unable to even share my struggle!
I am (for the most part) at peace with all of this. My goals are not to be the best or to outshine anyone else. If I can keep remembering that my goals are to learn, to grow, to leave a better actress than I presently am and to earn my degree, I will be just fine. This will not change the fact that when faced with learning and perfecting THREE English dialects (Northern, London, Queen's English), I may become very frustrated very quickly with the confusion they may bring!
This morning, I spent some time examining my specific goals for my year in the program. It comes down to three things.
1. I want to increase my ability to convincingly convey truth- the truth in a moment and the truth of my emotional experience and response.
2. I want increased vulnerability in my personal life and my work.
3. I want to work on my speech- and learn to turn my "perfect diction" (I hate it so much) on and off, for whichever will best serve me and a particular role.
So there you go. I've just put what I want out into the universe, and I am expecting to be heard!
I walked over to the University to locate The School of Management Building where we all meet at 9am tomorrow. It's easy to get to from my place and shoud take about 15 mins. I will be allowing a half hour, since I am notoriously late for everything (a trait I don't like and am working hard to change in myself).
From here, I walked back along the river- with sliced apples wrapped in tin foil tucked away in my bag and high hopes of seeing my horses again. I stopped at St. Catherine's church to have lunch (ham sandwhich with cheese and dijon on whole grain bread and a gala apple) on top of the hill. It was SO BEAUTIFUL up there today! The blue sky, puffy clouds, bright sun- they were all at their lovliest- and I couldn't resist singing at the top. I wanted to run and dance, but this I did not do. As I was eating, the wind picked up and got severe fast, ending my blistful moment and foiling my plan to read some Eat Pray Love after my lunch.
I continued my walk along the river, enjoying the names on the boats as I passed by. I saw a young couple in a rowboat, with a gaggle of ducks boldly following behind them- quacking demandingly and no doubt expecting to be fed.
When I came to the little meadow where the horses are, I was dismayed to see them so far into the center of the field and completely out of reach (and sight of my apples offering!). I considered hopping the fence and walking to them, but common sense did her job and I decided, rather, to sit and read. I climbed a little hill to where a stone, circular structure was standing on top, and before planting myself down on a nearby tree stump, I read,
"This World War II pill box was one of over 5,000 built in the early 1940s. .... This was the last number of defence lines protecting the capital and key industrial areas. ...... Pill box positions took advantage of natural and man-made obsticles such as rivers, canals and embankments and housed machine guns and anti-tank weapons"
NEATO! My imagination begain to run wild with this new information and little hideaway I'd just discovered. I imagined being a young girl in love with a handsome soldier who was stationed at a pill box like this one- always worried sick about him never returning. Ok. I am a nerd. It's true. I admit it freely. But I'm fairly certain that- if faced with as much historical sites as I've explored this week- you all would be a little nerdy as well. *wink* It's outrageous.
While reading, I met an older woman and her little terrier called Tess. Mary (that was this woman's name) was very kind and spoke to me a long time about Guildford, GSA, America and "Open London"- giving me all sorts of ideas of what to see it Lieke, Josefina and I decide to go this weekend afterall. The Parliment building will be open for viewing, which is so neat... maybe we will do up afterall? I took a picture will Tess, who had happily been enjoying my pets the whole while Mary and I were speaking, and said goodbye. It was a disappointment to not see the horses, but meeting Mary and Tess made up for it a little.
The only other noteworthy point of my day (and then I really must get myself ready for tomorrow!!!) is the dinner I made myself. Not much of a cook (although I LOVE to try!), tonight I baked fish for the first time! I've never baked anything before(except no pudge brownies- which requires v little skill). Not only was it successful, but it was incredibly delicious! I put my salmon in foil with lots of frsh lemon, fresh dill and a little back pepper, grilled up some peppers and about 45mins later had a perfect meal. Noteworthy, indeed.
Now, dear readers, I must tear myself away from this computer, gather my things for tomorrow and get a good night's sleep! Wish me luck!
With Love,
Juliana
*** a mini humidifier has been suggested to me, but there just seems to be no room for another source of heat in my little dollhouse room! Again... if I'm desperate...
Tuesday 15 September 2009
5. the First Rainy Day... I am officially English!
September 15, 2009
7:51pm
It's been raining all day. ALL day. And not only is it official- I live in dreary rainy England- but the title of this blog is legitimized now as well, as I purchased an authentic pair of wellies today. Wellies are quite a hot commodity here and there is no lack of variety. In my search for the perfect wellies, I found several different brands, styles, patterns and colors. They even make Welly socks which claim to be "the ultimate (welly) accessory." I admit that the soft fleece "bootie" feels mighty cozy on my little feet.
After much diliberation (I've been scouting them since I arrived last Tuesday), I decided on purple Hunter wellies and white fleece socks. I pause here to thank my friends who helped me select them from my facebook photo album. While I know most of you voted grey (since I was leaning towards them or navy), both my best friend Heather and dear friend Ivan suggested I chose purple- a fun color they think reflects my personality. My mom confirmed it (because who makes a move without consulting mom?), and it was settled. I love them! And, as it hasn't stopped raining all day and most likely will continue the rest of the week, they will certainly be worth every penny.
Since my plans to return to my horses and have a lazy day reading on the hill were thwarted, I had mainly a day of home improvement here. I re-hung my cork board on my door (which Roger described as "like art!" with all my jewelry hanging on the push pins- this caused it to be v. heavy and fall multiple times relying on the stickies only), re-strung one of my paper lanterns to hang longer, cooked a little, drank a little wine, did lots of dishes (of course!)... I also got in touch with Tegan, the only other American joining the MA program here at GSA this year. We tentatively are meeting tomorrow for coffee and a walk around town. It will be nice to meet a fellow American here, although I'm not sure how much we will see of each other once our seperate programs begin- I hear MA schedules get really busy!
...It's still raining. I'm kind of enjoying it... and that is very unlike me! I have my window open; it smells wonderful.
On the internet front, Roger mentioned it's out until next Tuesday (whenever it indeed goes out, which I suspect will be midnight tonight). I am only slightly less than tortured by this. Thank goodness for my 50 free international minutes on O2, as skype's call fw. to cell phones is stil very expensive at approx. 35cents/min. *ugh*
Off for a cup of tea and some "That Girl." It reminds me of NY. *smile*
With Love,
Juliana
7:51pm
It's been raining all day. ALL day. And not only is it official- I live in dreary rainy England- but the title of this blog is legitimized now as well, as I purchased an authentic pair of wellies today. Wellies are quite a hot commodity here and there is no lack of variety. In my search for the perfect wellies, I found several different brands, styles, patterns and colors. They even make Welly socks which claim to be "the ultimate (welly) accessory." I admit that the soft fleece "bootie" feels mighty cozy on my little feet.
After much diliberation (I've been scouting them since I arrived last Tuesday), I decided on purple Hunter wellies and white fleece socks. I pause here to thank my friends who helped me select them from my facebook photo album. While I know most of you voted grey (since I was leaning towards them or navy), both my best friend Heather and dear friend Ivan suggested I chose purple- a fun color they think reflects my personality. My mom confirmed it (because who makes a move without consulting mom?), and it was settled. I love them! And, as it hasn't stopped raining all day and most likely will continue the rest of the week, they will certainly be worth every penny.
Since my plans to return to my horses and have a lazy day reading on the hill were thwarted, I had mainly a day of home improvement here. I re-hung my cork board on my door (which Roger described as "like art!" with all my jewelry hanging on the push pins- this caused it to be v. heavy and fall multiple times relying on the stickies only), re-strung one of my paper lanterns to hang longer, cooked a little, drank a little wine, did lots of dishes (of course!)... I also got in touch with Tegan, the only other American joining the MA program here at GSA this year. We tentatively are meeting tomorrow for coffee and a walk around town. It will be nice to meet a fellow American here, although I'm not sure how much we will see of each other once our seperate programs begin- I hear MA schedules get really busy!
...It's still raining. I'm kind of enjoying it... and that is very unlike me! I have my window open; it smells wonderful.
On the internet front, Roger mentioned it's out until next Tuesday (whenever it indeed goes out, which I suspect will be midnight tonight). I am only slightly less than tortured by this. Thank goodness for my 50 free international minutes on O2, as skype's call fw. to cell phones is stil very expensive at approx. 35cents/min. *ugh*
Off for a cup of tea and some "That Girl." It reminds me of NY. *smile*
With Love,
Juliana
4. Adventuring along the "river wey," and my life without skype.
September 14, 2009
12:20am
It's been a long Monday. And I may lose my internet at any moment because it's expired and rather than renew this account, we have to close this account and set up a new account (which could take who knows how long!) all because the current, now former, account is in the name of the girl who just moved out! Skype- which should make call fw. very simple and user friendly- has been little help all night, I've wasted over 2 hrs. and I'm cranky and frustrated on many levels.
On another note.... Tomorrow (or today, if you will) marks my one week anniversary of living at Walnut Tree Close in Guildford. Was it only a week ago that I got on the plane with so much trepidation and so many worries? It feels like so long ago that I caught my last glimpse of palm trees, sand and the vast beautiful Sourthern CA. oceans I love so much. And at this moment, I don't have any fear about my time here whatsoever (only about losing my internet *grrrrrr*). I am happy.
Today was an explorative, peaceful day. I went for a long walk along the river. There was so much to see- friendly swans expecting to be fed, numerous colorful boats with sweet little names (my favorite was "Content," adjective which a young teen fishing nearby mistook for content, noun. *grin*), gorgeous English countryside, bright white cotton ball clouds, buffalo wading in water.... Unfortunately, my camera died too soon into my adventure. But maybe this was a blessing, as I focused much more on experiencing the walk that I would have while photographing everything I could manage. I relaxed more.
I came to an enclosed stretch of green, where 7 horses, including 2 young colts, were grazing no more than 5ft. from where I stood watching them. The colts were precious, munching away as greedily and steadily as they could. I so desperatly wanted to touch them, that I actually fantasized the scenerio of hopping the fence and riding one bareback into the open fields, but the thought of being arrested and charged in a foreign country quickly snapped me into reality again. I did, however, manage to pick a few blackberries from a nearby bush and I held them in my palm, stretched out my arm to the horse in front of me and- success! She came right up to me, ate them happily and let me pet her for a few moments before returning to her sweet grass. It was heaven! I resolved right there to come back tomorrow with apples for them, in hopes of making friends and petting them some more. *grin*
On the walk back towards Walnut Tree Close, I spotted a little brook opporite the river, with a little bridge, which triggered Gill's words about the old ruined church in my head. I took a detour up a big hill, passing quaint little homes, and as I rounded the corner at the top, I saw it. St. Catherine's church- or what's left of it- sitting on the top of another large hill. This second hill was more difficult to climb that the first, and I was ashamed to be huffing and puffing half way up. What I saw when I reached the top took my breath away.
The view is a spectacular one of the town below. It was quiet and peaceful and serene and...! It's one of the most romantic places I have every been to, and I daydreamed for a minute about taking my loved ones to see it when they visit me throughout the year. Maybe when I return tomorrow to feed the horses, I will pack a lunch for myself and eat it on top of this hill, while reading Eat Pray Love for the 3rd time. (If you have not read this life changing book by Elizabeth Gilbert, run to your nearest bookstore!)
After my walk, I came home for a long hot bubble bath. We have one of those big old fashioned tubs that fills so full with water my body is almost entirely submerged in it. I love it! After my bath, I ventured in to town to get some groceries and on my way home, passed Tom in the street. It was my first "street recognition" moment, and it gave me a little rush- knowing that this is my life now. Similar to the feeling I still get every time I run into someone in the middle of NY's bustle.
Later in the evening, Tom and I went out for Indian food and to get to know each other a little better. Let me just say that I have hit the jackpot with these boys! Both Tom and Roger are as sweet as can be, super fun to spend time with, quite mature and down to earth... as well as have excellent tastes in music (minus the rap- sorry Tom!) and great senses of humor. If I have to do a few more dishes on occasion to have a drama-free, relaxed home engery, I am more than ok with it. Besides, "there are times I actually enjoy cleaning" (10pts for whoever knows that quote).
I'm afraid to go to sleep tonight for fear of waking up without internet. Without Skype! What did people do so far away from home before there was skype? How can I now live without it, even for a day? There is no life without skype! *sigh* Keep your fingers crossed for us here- that it may get sorted out soon! ;)
Good night and With Love,
Juliana
12:20am
It's been a long Monday. And I may lose my internet at any moment because it's expired and rather than renew this account, we have to close this account and set up a new account (which could take who knows how long!) all because the current, now former, account is in the name of the girl who just moved out! Skype- which should make call fw. very simple and user friendly- has been little help all night, I've wasted over 2 hrs. and I'm cranky and frustrated on many levels.
On another note.... Tomorrow (or today, if you will) marks my one week anniversary of living at Walnut Tree Close in Guildford. Was it only a week ago that I got on the plane with so much trepidation and so many worries? It feels like so long ago that I caught my last glimpse of palm trees, sand and the vast beautiful Sourthern CA. oceans I love so much. And at this moment, I don't have any fear about my time here whatsoever (only about losing my internet *grrrrrr*). I am happy.
Today was an explorative, peaceful day. I went for a long walk along the river. There was so much to see- friendly swans expecting to be fed, numerous colorful boats with sweet little names (my favorite was "Content," adjective which a young teen fishing nearby mistook for content, noun. *grin*), gorgeous English countryside, bright white cotton ball clouds, buffalo wading in water.... Unfortunately, my camera died too soon into my adventure. But maybe this was a blessing, as I focused much more on experiencing the walk that I would have while photographing everything I could manage. I relaxed more.
I came to an enclosed stretch of green, where 7 horses, including 2 young colts, were grazing no more than 5ft. from where I stood watching them. The colts were precious, munching away as greedily and steadily as they could. I so desperatly wanted to touch them, that I actually fantasized the scenerio of hopping the fence and riding one bareback into the open fields, but the thought of being arrested and charged in a foreign country quickly snapped me into reality again. I did, however, manage to pick a few blackberries from a nearby bush and I held them in my palm, stretched out my arm to the horse in front of me and- success! She came right up to me, ate them happily and let me pet her for a few moments before returning to her sweet grass. It was heaven! I resolved right there to come back tomorrow with apples for them, in hopes of making friends and petting them some more. *grin*
On the walk back towards Walnut Tree Close, I spotted a little brook opporite the river, with a little bridge, which triggered Gill's words about the old ruined church in my head. I took a detour up a big hill, passing quaint little homes, and as I rounded the corner at the top, I saw it. St. Catherine's church- or what's left of it- sitting on the top of another large hill. This second hill was more difficult to climb that the first, and I was ashamed to be huffing and puffing half way up. What I saw when I reached the top took my breath away.
The view is a spectacular one of the town below. It was quiet and peaceful and serene and...! It's one of the most romantic places I have every been to, and I daydreamed for a minute about taking my loved ones to see it when they visit me throughout the year. Maybe when I return tomorrow to feed the horses, I will pack a lunch for myself and eat it on top of this hill, while reading Eat Pray Love for the 3rd time. (If you have not read this life changing book by Elizabeth Gilbert, run to your nearest bookstore!)
After my walk, I came home for a long hot bubble bath. We have one of those big old fashioned tubs that fills so full with water my body is almost entirely submerged in it. I love it! After my bath, I ventured in to town to get some groceries and on my way home, passed Tom in the street. It was my first "street recognition" moment, and it gave me a little rush- knowing that this is my life now. Similar to the feeling I still get every time I run into someone in the middle of NY's bustle.
Later in the evening, Tom and I went out for Indian food and to get to know each other a little better. Let me just say that I have hit the jackpot with these boys! Both Tom and Roger are as sweet as can be, super fun to spend time with, quite mature and down to earth... as well as have excellent tastes in music (minus the rap- sorry Tom!) and great senses of humor. If I have to do a few more dishes on occasion to have a drama-free, relaxed home engery, I am more than ok with it. Besides, "there are times I actually enjoy cleaning" (10pts for whoever knows that quote).
I'm afraid to go to sleep tonight for fear of waking up without internet. Without Skype! What did people do so far away from home before there was skype? How can I now live without it, even for a day? There is no life without skype! *sigh* Keep your fingers crossed for us here- that it may get sorted out soon! ;)
Good night and With Love,
Juliana
Sunday 13 September 2009
3. "take away" Vs "to stay", and the strongest coffee of my life.
September 13, 2009
11:54pm
...and I think I'm finally caught up to my actual posting days!
When Ian picked me up from the airport, he told me to enjoy the beautiful warm day because the remainder of the week would be poor conditions. EVERY DAY HAS BEEN BEAUTIFUL! I was actually hot yesterday, and while can't say the same of today (at times I FROZE in my shorts, T'shirt and blazer), it was still blue sky, puffy clouds and sunshine.
This weekend was "Heritage Days" in Guildford meaning most historical buildings, even ones normally not open to the public, were open, free and had guided tours all weekend long. What lucky timing! Yesterday I was out from 10am til 7pm-
- visiting the bell tower in St. Mary's church
-the local community theatre, the Electric, where I learned a few of my GSA shows will be held - touring Abbot's Hospital (open to public only once a year) which isn't a hospital at all but an elderly person's home, equipt for housing 8 single and 4 couples, founded by Archbishop of Canterbury, George Abbot in 1619, and complete with actors in costume, delivering speeches as Abbot himself (and a house servant/ nurse).
- having tea and cake in Guildhall, Guildford's original courthouse.
- seeing the crypt of the Angel Hotel- the last remaining travelers inn and widely rumored to be haunted.
.... and much much more!
Today I met a tour group at the Tunsgate Arch (which is the former market square) for 2 guided walks- Hidden Guildford and Historical Guildford. I was v. taken with the Historical Guildford walk and particularly our guide, Gill. (Jill, in America). She seemed eager to tell me of special things to do while I'm here and shared with me a little of her life story- born and raised in town, left when she was 22 with her teaching certification, and traveled the world- Asia, Africa...!- for the next 30 yrs. I was in awe of her knowledge and bravery. And the tour was fascinating.
On the tour I made my first 2 friends here. (sorry Roger, roommates don't count because you have to like me! *wink*). Lieke from Holland and Josifina from the Netherlands- both not quite 20yrs. old and here for the year as au pairs. I immediately liked them, they've only just arrived themselves, and we spent much of the tour together- laughing and talking like old friends. At the end of our tour, Gill told us that London's having similar festivities next weekend, "Open House," and I think the girls and I are going to take the train there together on Sunday. We also agreed to do the "Haunted Guildford" walk on night soon and eventually make a trip to Bath. I am glad to have met nice girls to spend some time with doing tourist activities. Lieke is even taking GSA's Saturday school- and she's excited because she's only ever dance ballet and is not much of a singer (but studying voice and tap!). We exchanged numbers and facebook info, and I hope to hear from them soon.
One disappointing discovery I made today, while I was freezing and trying to escape the harsh winds for an hour, was that every little coffee shop or bakery or cafe here charges exorbanat rates for staying in with your food. For example, I walked into a little french bakery, hoping to have a coffee and pastery, and immediately saw that coffee to "take away" was only a bit over a pound. However, that same coffee "to stay" was nearly TWO pounds! I ordered it to take away, of course, on principle if nothing else, and walked to find another place for my pastery and to sit. But several shops later, I realised that EVERY PLACE is the same- including Starbucks. RIP OFF!!!!! And I refuse to pay almost 4bucks for coffee (coversion rate inconsideration).
I didn't get a pastery at all. I wandered into a "Pastery shop" which turned out to be puff pasterys with various fillings. I chose the smallest, "traditional," which was beef, potato and onion and took it and my coffee to Quakers Arch (even the pastery shop had ridiculous "to stay" fees!) and sat in the v. back on a bench under a little wooden covering- hoping it would sheil some wind. It did. I still froze. My coffee heated me up again, but it was- this is an understatement- so unbelievably almost undrinkably strong (suited only for my dad and Ivan, really), even with cream, that I had to take it in small doses. It had me wired for the 2:30 walk, for sure!
Tonight I met Tom. And his grandmother who dropped him off. He seems as great as Roger, and we are having food and drink tomorrow night to learn a little more about each other.
It's late. I'm beat. Despite the Ambien I took on my flight here to avoid jetlag, I think I'm still fighting it a little.
Tomorrow I'm walking the river!
With Love,
Juliana
11:54pm
...and I think I'm finally caught up to my actual posting days!
When Ian picked me up from the airport, he told me to enjoy the beautiful warm day because the remainder of the week would be poor conditions. EVERY DAY HAS BEEN BEAUTIFUL! I was actually hot yesterday, and while can't say the same of today (at times I FROZE in my shorts, T'shirt and blazer), it was still blue sky, puffy clouds and sunshine.
This weekend was "Heritage Days" in Guildford meaning most historical buildings, even ones normally not open to the public, were open, free and had guided tours all weekend long. What lucky timing! Yesterday I was out from 10am til 7pm-
- visiting the bell tower in St. Mary's church
-the local community theatre, the Electric, where I learned a few of my GSA shows will be held - touring Abbot's Hospital (open to public only once a year) which isn't a hospital at all but an elderly person's home, equipt for housing 8 single and 4 couples, founded by Archbishop of Canterbury, George Abbot in 1619, and complete with actors in costume, delivering speeches as Abbot himself (and a house servant/ nurse).
- having tea and cake in Guildhall, Guildford's original courthouse.
- seeing the crypt of the Angel Hotel- the last remaining travelers inn and widely rumored to be haunted.
.... and much much more!
Today I met a tour group at the Tunsgate Arch (which is the former market square) for 2 guided walks- Hidden Guildford and Historical Guildford. I was v. taken with the Historical Guildford walk and particularly our guide, Gill. (Jill, in America). She seemed eager to tell me of special things to do while I'm here and shared with me a little of her life story- born and raised in town, left when she was 22 with her teaching certification, and traveled the world- Asia, Africa...!- for the next 30 yrs. I was in awe of her knowledge and bravery. And the tour was fascinating.
On the tour I made my first 2 friends here. (sorry Roger, roommates don't count because you have to like me! *wink*). Lieke from Holland and Josifina from the Netherlands- both not quite 20yrs. old and here for the year as au pairs. I immediately liked them, they've only just arrived themselves, and we spent much of the tour together- laughing and talking like old friends. At the end of our tour, Gill told us that London's having similar festivities next weekend, "Open House," and I think the girls and I are going to take the train there together on Sunday. We also agreed to do the "Haunted Guildford" walk on night soon and eventually make a trip to Bath. I am glad to have met nice girls to spend some time with doing tourist activities. Lieke is even taking GSA's Saturday school- and she's excited because she's only ever dance ballet and is not much of a singer (but studying voice and tap!). We exchanged numbers and facebook info, and I hope to hear from them soon.
One disappointing discovery I made today, while I was freezing and trying to escape the harsh winds for an hour, was that every little coffee shop or bakery or cafe here charges exorbanat rates for staying in with your food. For example, I walked into a little french bakery, hoping to have a coffee and pastery, and immediately saw that coffee to "take away" was only a bit over a pound. However, that same coffee "to stay" was nearly TWO pounds! I ordered it to take away, of course, on principle if nothing else, and walked to find another place for my pastery and to sit. But several shops later, I realised that EVERY PLACE is the same- including Starbucks. RIP OFF!!!!! And I refuse to pay almost 4bucks for coffee (coversion rate inconsideration).
I didn't get a pastery at all. I wandered into a "Pastery shop" which turned out to be puff pasterys with various fillings. I chose the smallest, "traditional," which was beef, potato and onion and took it and my coffee to Quakers Arch (even the pastery shop had ridiculous "to stay" fees!) and sat in the v. back on a bench under a little wooden covering- hoping it would sheil some wind. It did. I still froze. My coffee heated me up again, but it was- this is an understatement- so unbelievably almost undrinkably strong (suited only for my dad and Ivan, really), even with cream, that I had to take it in small doses. It had me wired for the 2:30 walk, for sure!
Tonight I met Tom. And his grandmother who dropped him off. He seems as great as Roger, and we are having food and drink tomorrow night to learn a little more about each other.
It's late. I'm beat. Despite the Ambien I took on my flight here to avoid jetlag, I think I'm still fighting it a little.
Tomorrow I'm walking the river!
With Love,
Juliana
2. Arrival safe& sound... and the first few days.
September 11, 2009
10:15am
It's the start of my fourth day in Guildford, and it looks like a beautiful one. I'm warm from the sun shining in my window, fighting it's way past the thick wooden blinds I have drawn.
Arriving at 7:30am on Tuesday September 8, I was certain I would have a period of sadness, longing and withdrawl from everyone I love in the states. But from the moment I landed, I felt home here. My landlord, former Police force member Ian, was holing a sign for me when I stepped into baggage claim. I liked him immediately, and he was so sweet to pick me up and spend the day with me. A brief side note about Ian: he and his wife, Carmel, bought this flat I'm living in when their own daughter, Sarah, was accepted into GSA so she would have safe accomadations close to campus. Not only does it sound like their daughter and I have much in common and would be great friends, but they are perhaps two of the nicest people I've ever met. Carmel has a large basket, overflowing with fruit, and a Welcome card waiting in my new kitchen, and Ian spent the entire afternoon with me helping me get set up with my O2 cell phone and new bank account. (which, btw, is a major disappointment as I don't qualify for a student account since I'm only going to be here one year, as well as not qualifying for a young persons rail card because apparently I am no longer considered young by Britain's standards. That's depressing- not to mention inconvienent since the conversion rate is heinous and I will have v. little opportunity to travel to other parts of Europe if I can't afford the train/ plane tickets! *huge sigh*)
Moving forward... I now have an English cell phone and sim card with an English number I can't make sense of. I have learned to call the U.S. (and get 50 free mins. for International calls, per month!) so my fears of being disconnected from everyone I love are dissolved. My bank card will arrive in a few days, and despite the disappointment when I deposited nearly half of what I came over here with, I like my Barclay's bank v. much.
I've begun setting up my dollhouse bedroom. When I found and accepted this place, Carmel sent me pictures of my tiny little bedroom with my tiny little bed which truly did look like dollhouse furniture. I was prepared for the worst- and still I was excited for my glorious, centrally located flat with washing machine, large kitchen, included utilities and the patio with the river. I've been v. pleasantly surprised in this case. My room is small, but it is bigger than the photos led me to believe, and it feels much bigger. I have plenty of storage and 2 sets of mirrors (one set, full length), cute little bookshelves, a large window and lots of light. It's perfect. I've enjoyed setting it up with my art, miniature paper lanterns and numerous photo booth photo strips I've been collecting with friends- admitidly obsessively- for several months now. (BTW, if anyone knows of one in England, please let me know! *grin* I'm sick....!)
I plan to visit the Castle today, as well as St. Mary's church, which is the oldest building in Guildford- dating back to the Saxons in 1066. Incredible! And need I mention anything about the CASTLE?!?!? A CASTLE!
With Love,
Juliana
10:15am
It's the start of my fourth day in Guildford, and it looks like a beautiful one. I'm warm from the sun shining in my window, fighting it's way past the thick wooden blinds I have drawn.
Arriving at 7:30am on Tuesday September 8, I was certain I would have a period of sadness, longing and withdrawl from everyone I love in the states. But from the moment I landed, I felt home here. My landlord, former Police force member Ian, was holing a sign for me when I stepped into baggage claim. I liked him immediately, and he was so sweet to pick me up and spend the day with me. A brief side note about Ian: he and his wife, Carmel, bought this flat I'm living in when their own daughter, Sarah, was accepted into GSA so she would have safe accomadations close to campus. Not only does it sound like their daughter and I have much in common and would be great friends, but they are perhaps two of the nicest people I've ever met. Carmel has a large basket, overflowing with fruit, and a Welcome card waiting in my new kitchen, and Ian spent the entire afternoon with me helping me get set up with my O2 cell phone and new bank account. (which, btw, is a major disappointment as I don't qualify for a student account since I'm only going to be here one year, as well as not qualifying for a young persons rail card because apparently I am no longer considered young by Britain's standards. That's depressing- not to mention inconvienent since the conversion rate is heinous and I will have v. little opportunity to travel to other parts of Europe if I can't afford the train/ plane tickets! *huge sigh*)
Moving forward... I now have an English cell phone and sim card with an English number I can't make sense of. I have learned to call the U.S. (and get 50 free mins. for International calls, per month!) so my fears of being disconnected from everyone I love are dissolved. My bank card will arrive in a few days, and despite the disappointment when I deposited nearly half of what I came over here with, I like my Barclay's bank v. much.
I've begun setting up my dollhouse bedroom. When I found and accepted this place, Carmel sent me pictures of my tiny little bedroom with my tiny little bed which truly did look like dollhouse furniture. I was prepared for the worst- and still I was excited for my glorious, centrally located flat with washing machine, large kitchen, included utilities and the patio with the river. I've been v. pleasantly surprised in this case. My room is small, but it is bigger than the photos led me to believe, and it feels much bigger. I have plenty of storage and 2 sets of mirrors (one set, full length), cute little bookshelves, a large window and lots of light. It's perfect. I've enjoyed setting it up with my art, miniature paper lanterns and numerous photo booth photo strips I've been collecting with friends- admitidly obsessively- for several months now. (BTW, if anyone knows of one in England, please let me know! *grin* I'm sick....!)
I plan to visit the Castle today, as well as St. Mary's church, which is the oldest building in Guildford- dating back to the Saxons in 1066. Incredible! And need I mention anything about the CASTLE?!?!? A CASTLE!
With Love,
Juliana
1. Beginning.
September 9, 2009
7:43pm
I am the luckiest girl in the world. Ok, v. broad statement, but I do live only a short walk from a castle and my back patio almost sits on the river Thames. Not bad for a starving artist who is about to incure debt for the first time in her life.
I'm at the end of my second day in England. Guildford, to be exact. In Surrey. I have been, somewhat, ongoingly discontent with much of what comes with being an actress in New York City and have now moved myself across oceans with hopes to recoincile that. I'll be starting Guildford School of Acting (GSA) in less than a week, obtaining my MA in a year and after that- it's anybody's guess.
To be completely honest, I really do love NY and my life there. NY is the most "miss-able" place I've ever been. And it's been good to me. For the record, I still love musical theatre. A lot. But I dislike the "game" of the business and am growing restless in the world of musical theatre. I am, everyday, nearing the time in my life where I will be faced with decisions about family and children and love and home and "stability" (what is that???), and I'm desperately seeking other avenues to pursue before that time comes- both to have more accomplishments and talents to draw on in my future and, especially, to have as much life experience as a young free woman can possibly have.
So, I have found and been generously (financially speaking!) accepted into one of the best arts schools in England, as an actor, where I will receive thorough training in both classical and contemporary theatre, film, stage combat, mask work, mime, dialect, speech and movement... to name a few! And earn my MA degree upon completion of my course. September to September.
The possibilities are endless. I'm thrilled and scared. Part of me can't wait to start, the other part of me wants to be on permanant vacation in this charming, historical town and spend every day enjoying wine and cheese on my patio, overlooking the river Thames. I'm eager to learn. I will grow immensely. I will not be the same person I am.
Why England? Many reasons. For the incredible life experience while I am free and able to have it. Because many industry professionals view English actors and training as superior to that in the U.S. It will, at least, be a valuable addition to my resume. To earn my MA degree. And because it began as a whim- and doors kept flying open.
My goals are these. To learn everything I possibly can. To remember why I'm here, and not compare myself to others or care to be the best. To have an enriched, expanded view of life. To earn my MA degree. To grow as a person and an actress. To explore my darker side. To leave with more opportunity ahead of me. To trust.
...and to be a movie star. Really.
I really am so blessed. I feel so much wealthier than I am- because most people I know only dream about living and studying in Europe. I am wealthy. I have family and friends who love and support me; encourage and pray for me.*
I invite you to experience my year with me. I will try to remain candid and interesting, but I promise to remain honest. I don't know what's ahead, but I have peace about not knowing. There is freedom in that which I've never allowed myself to fully experience before.
With love,
Juliana
*** Thank You
GSA
California Community Foundation
Michael
Marion
Dad
Mom
Carol and Jim
Deborah and Errol
Steven
Ivan
Harry
Donna Lynn
Kahan
Mandy
Susan
Skype
...and to all of my family and friends for their support and prayers! I love you!
7:43pm
I am the luckiest girl in the world. Ok, v. broad statement, but I do live only a short walk from a castle and my back patio almost sits on the river Thames. Not bad for a starving artist who is about to incure debt for the first time in her life.
I'm at the end of my second day in England. Guildford, to be exact. In Surrey. I have been, somewhat, ongoingly discontent with much of what comes with being an actress in New York City and have now moved myself across oceans with hopes to recoincile that. I'll be starting Guildford School of Acting (GSA) in less than a week, obtaining my MA in a year and after that- it's anybody's guess.
To be completely honest, I really do love NY and my life there. NY is the most "miss-able" place I've ever been. And it's been good to me. For the record, I still love musical theatre. A lot. But I dislike the "game" of the business and am growing restless in the world of musical theatre. I am, everyday, nearing the time in my life where I will be faced with decisions about family and children and love and home and "stability" (what is that???), and I'm desperately seeking other avenues to pursue before that time comes- both to have more accomplishments and talents to draw on in my future and, especially, to have as much life experience as a young free woman can possibly have.
So, I have found and been generously (financially speaking!) accepted into one of the best arts schools in England, as an actor, where I will receive thorough training in both classical and contemporary theatre, film, stage combat, mask work, mime, dialect, speech and movement... to name a few! And earn my MA degree upon completion of my course. September to September.
The possibilities are endless. I'm thrilled and scared. Part of me can't wait to start, the other part of me wants to be on permanant vacation in this charming, historical town and spend every day enjoying wine and cheese on my patio, overlooking the river Thames. I'm eager to learn. I will grow immensely. I will not be the same person I am.
Why England? Many reasons. For the incredible life experience while I am free and able to have it. Because many industry professionals view English actors and training as superior to that in the U.S. It will, at least, be a valuable addition to my resume. To earn my MA degree. And because it began as a whim- and doors kept flying open.
My goals are these. To learn everything I possibly can. To remember why I'm here, and not compare myself to others or care to be the best. To have an enriched, expanded view of life. To earn my MA degree. To grow as a person and an actress. To explore my darker side. To leave with more opportunity ahead of me. To trust.
...and to be a movie star. Really.
I really am so blessed. I feel so much wealthier than I am- because most people I know only dream about living and studying in Europe. I am wealthy. I have family and friends who love and support me; encourage and pray for me.*
I invite you to experience my year with me. I will try to remain candid and interesting, but I promise to remain honest. I don't know what's ahead, but I have peace about not knowing. There is freedom in that which I've never allowed myself to fully experience before.
With love,
Juliana
*** Thank You
GSA
California Community Foundation
Michael
Marion
Dad
Mom
Carol and Jim
Deborah and Errol
Steven
Ivan
Harry
Donna Lynn
Kahan
Mandy
Susan
Skype
...and to all of my family and friends for their support and prayers! I love you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
