10. My Acting Journal- "Compulsory"

September 23, 2009
11:18pm

Today was a very full day- as we spent the majority of our time piecing together our 3 individual group sections of our Greek story of Odysseus the Hero- and tensions rose very quickly without a "director" to take control. We actually worked quite well as a group without a leader... not too much talking over each other and we accomplished a lot, despite the extra amount of time wasted at each decision making crossroads.  Our final product was fluid and imaginative, and our teachers seemed pleased with our presentation. I don't desire to explore that process again in the near future, but I am proud of us for rising to the occasion in a creative and expressive way.

We also presented our Haiku poems today. Although I wrote several, I chose the following:

"I'm in England- Whooo!
I'll have a drink in a pub
then have tea and scones"

-the last line was delivered, of course, in my best English accent, and I'm proud of myself for getting away with "Whooo!" as one of my 5 opening syllables. *grin*

...ok, if I'm being honest, it actually read, "I'll go get drunk in a pub" on that second line.

And we had to act them... so I placed myself in the middle of London- getting out of my cab with my suitcases and seeing the Towering Big Ben ahead of me. It went over well, but most everyone had great ones, so it's not a great accomplishment!

Terri encouraged us to begin an acting journal tonight- about what we've learned and how we have grown over the past 3 days. She also requested that it include a "manifesto" of sorts- an outline of what we want our working environment to be be throughout the year and how we think our peers should treat us and each other...  in order to have the most productive class time possible- maximizing our growth in this very brief year.  I will do my best to come up with something appropriate.

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Mission Statement for Juliana Hansen- MA Actor, 2009/ 2010

Over my first 3 days as a student at GSA, I've learned many important lessons, both individually and as a group, which I will try to carry with me throughout my year here. The most important are bravery, committment and focused, energized team work.

Bravery is something I've always struggled with in my acting. I'll be "brave" only so far as my comfort zone, and then I tend to want to avoid other areas. This week I made the choice to face each given exercise, assignment, task, moment in class boldly- without any excuses or apologies. I was faced with everything from jumping rope (a sport which has always terrified me) to writing and performing my own Haiku poem (which, typically, I'd have worried about making the best choices, being "good" or funny or something!) to walking into a room and introducing myself (to be "judged" and feel "judged"- like walking into an audition room... I even volunteered to do this!). I didn't once freak out about any part of these or any other assignments, and only once did I ask a friend if I'd done well in fulfilling the assignment or embarrassing myself. *laugh* That's a huge deal for me! Not only did I complete assigned assignments, but I also volunteered for non-compusory (or mandatory, for you Americans) activities- because I want my experience this year to be as full and rich as it can possibly be! I learned from my bravery. I learned that nothing is as bad as not trying- even failing at jumping rope was more exciting and more of an acoomplishment than if I had sat it out! I learned that in most cases, I ENJOYED what I had been fearing. I will do my v. best to continue the application of this lesson I've learned when facing anything and everything this year.

Commitment may seem very much the same as bravery, and they do go hand in hand. However, commitment takes bravery a step further. I learned that bravery takes you to the "doing place," but one needs commitment to "do again, and better." Commitment makes no guarentees- I can commit to my jumping rope but never successfully get in a jump.  What commitment does give is an imense opportunity for growth. This week I've been committed to doing every given task and exercise without questioning why or doubting the effect it will have on me. I have just jumped in head first- detatching myself from all judgement or pre-conceived notions of what it may or may not be. This has served me so much in the last 3 days. I've learned so much- especially in the times I began an activity uncertain if I would like it- or if I even understood it, as was the case sometimes- but once I began just DOING it, 99% of the time was heavily impacted by it- and in some cases, loved it! I had to commit this week to my classmates as well- commit my time and prove to be reliable as a partner in this journey. I commited to giving them- and myself- my all.

Lastly, I learned so much from working as a group- especially in the times of no "director" to voice answers or structure at us. I learned the importance of listening to each other in a focused, highly energized way, but also how to delicately balance my listening with boldness to make suggestions when we needed contribution to the whole. We were very fortunate to have warmth and support for each other from the start- something many groups need to work to obtain. We encouraged each other to do our best. No one was catty or judgemental. As the year progresses and our work gets more and more difficult, I hope we can hold on to this advantage we've found. We found a boldness within our group- not once did a teacher have to call on us to do anything because someone was always willing to volunteer and try. Lastly, we learned the importance of compromise as we were faced with making decisions about constructing an entire performance piece, without the difinitive voice of a director. Compromise not only allows time to be used efficently and for decisions to be made, but it also sometimes helps us find creative avenues to explore- which otherwise we would not have tried- which sometimes, if not frequently, expand the vision of the project and produce a better result.

It is my sincere hope- and plea- that my classmates and I will be able to remember these important lessons which we've learned these past 3 days and continue to apply them to every opportunity and every challenge we face during our our time at GSA. I hope every class and collaboration will be met with kindness, support, non-judgement/ acceptance, contribution, energized listening, time management, commitment and, above all, courage to boldly try and try and try again. In accomplishing this environment, we will all grow and learn so much.

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Well, there you have it. I hope it wasn't too boring or abstract.  It's so difficult to summerize hours and hours of work and discovery!

Tomorrow we split apart from the MAMTs and work all day with Terri. I can't wait to begin finding our own group energy togther- with only the 9 of us. I think we have some special people and expect to grow close to several of them.

It's getting more and more exciting... and I'm so tired!

With Love and a desire to go to bed,
Juliana